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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who won the Democratic primary in NY-14 by committing SOCIALISM SORCERY, has won another primary, because apparently she thinks she is entitled to do SOCIALISM REDISTRIBUTION of all the primaries in the whole American land TO HERSELF. Well, Wonkette has one word for that and it is PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

OK we are kidding. But she did win another primary in a district she isn't even running to represent. It is New York's 15th district, which is next door to the 14th. She didn't win the Democratic primary though, but rather the Reform Party's primary, and she won it by collecting NINE WRITE-IN VOTES. She even beat the incumbent, Democratic Rep. Jose Serrano!


In response, Ocasio-Cortez declared victory and anointed herself president of all the primaries in all of America and was last seen marching toward the White House to go ahead and pick out Oval Office decor while El Dipshit is out of town, just so she has it ready for the 2024 election, which she will be just barely eligible for.

Just kidding, she graciously LOLed and said she'll go ahead and be president of NY-14 for now:

She WOULD say that.

OK, we really have nothing else to say about this besides how it is a cute story to end our day, so we will go ahead and make this your OPEN THREAD and get the fuck outta here. Goodbye!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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And now for some news that has nothing to do with Brett Kavanaugh's penis or Donald Trump's penis! The president has committed what may be the biggest of obstruction of justice he has engaged in since he was inaugurated, because despite everything else that's going on, the walls of the Russia investigation continue to close in on him and his family. Therefore, in the name of "transparency," it's time to VERY SELECTIVELY declassify some classified information and harm national security in the process, and all for the sake of giving Fox News and the paste-eating dipshits in the House GOP something to shout about, and to try to protect his stupid ass.

Here's the basic thing he did, and why it's so bad, both for America and also for himself, because he's such a fuckin' idiot. Just as his presidency is falling apart, his SCOTUS nominee is being accused of attempted rape, Paul Manafort is flipping on him, Michael Cohen is talking to Robert Mueller about him, and Michael Flynn is about to be sentenced ... WHEW! ... Trump has issued the following order:

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Ryan Bundy and brothers in front of Nevada Capitol, which looks like the mushroom guy in Mario Kart

Somehow, we'd plum forgotten that Ryan Bundy -- the "Legal Idiot" Sovereign Citizen son of Cliven Bundy and the real philosophical brains behind the Nevada and Oregon High Plains Grifters standoffs with the illegitimate US government -- is running as an independent for governor of Nevada. But then a tweet by Riley Snyder, a reporter for the Nevada Independent, showed off some of the SovCit madness on Bundy's campaign website, and well, hot spit and murderation, we are impressed with the wisdom therein!

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