Oh Hey, Douchesack Is On TeeVee

jackass - WonketteWell, Bush was talking on the teevee, and we were trying to watch it on CNN, but after about 90 seconds of Bush jabbering some bullshit about something making a buzzing sound or whatever, CNN just cut him off and went to ... breaking news from, er, Oakland, California ... about the airport delays or something.

OK, and now he's back. We're pretty busy and don't like listening to retarded people all that much (sorry!) so we aren't really going to pay any attention to him unless some brave terrorist makes it interesting.

* He's talking about corn, and sort of laughing because he can't talk.

* Jesus christ somebody put him out of his misery.

* Ethanol, wood chips, etc.

* Does he think he's in Iowa? He's in OHIO.

* "Windmills, uhh ..."

* CNN cuts him off again.

* There are long lines at Oakland Airport.

* Now back to Bush jabbering bullshit about terrorisms. They are "folks."

* Oh shit the terrorists are working with the Pope!!

* Just like the Bush Administration, terrorists will kill innocent people to make a political point.

* How much did they pay these people to sit in this room? Not enough, based on their dour expressions.

* Hey, the Iraqis voted a decade ago, or something. Wasn't that great? Purple Rain or something?

* Freedom through Horror!

* Hey did you know Iraq is Al Qaeda who attacked us on September the Eleventh?

* It's nice how Bush is only concerned about what Iran and Al Qaeda thinks. That's nice.

* Is that Flounder?

* That's totally Flounder.

* Benchmarks!

* Ha ha that one guy is making the tongue-in-cheek blowjob motion.

* Oh, wait, blowing up hundreds of thousands of people -- including thousands of U.S. troops -- is actually "World Peace." Ah hah, now we get it.

* Now he's talking about Japan. Countdown to CNN cutting him off and going back to Oakland Airport.

* We used to fucking HATE the Japs.

* And then, Bush Jr. is talking "about the peace" with the Japanese prime minister. So this means one day soon, Bush and Osama will kiss and make up.

* Ha ha, the election was rigged, too! Both of 'em!

* Sorry, no money for NASA. Gotta kill Arabs!

* Bush hates astronauts.

* Actually, you fucking idiot, there is NO MONEY IN WASHINGTON. Only debt, crushing debt.

* CNN cuts him off again, when the Pakistani guy asks a question. Why? Because the Pakistani guy was clearly asking why, on 9/11, Porter Goss and Bob Graham were having breakfast at the Capitol with Pakistan's security chief, Lieutenant General Mahmoud Ahmad, who was coincidentally the guy who sent 9/11 pilot Mohammad Atta $100,000 days before the attacks, and then Bush appoints those same Florida senators to head the phony 9/11 Commission, and then puts Goss in charge of the CIA.

* Then some reporter at the Pentagon says everything failed, Iraq is Hell, etc.

* Then, a refreshing opposition response to Bush's speech from ... John McCain.

* Back to Oakland Airport! My gosh, the delays!


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