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Joe Manchin, can we talk? Haha just kidding, YOU'RE GOING TO SIT THERE AND GODDAMMIT YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING LISTEN.

We sometimes defend your existence, even though you mostly suck all the time so much, but we like it when there are asses in seats that have D's next to their names, and we have especially wanted you to win your race for re-election, because, Christ, you are a West Virginia senator, and we are pretty lucky to have any national politician from there who is not literally Coal Baron Hitler. We also figure that when we take the Senate either on November 6 or at the very latest 2020, your presence as a number would be just fine, because you won't be making the rules, because literally every other Democrat in that body is your real dad.

And it looks like you are going to win your race! You're up in the polls so high that you can afford to do something a little bit risky once in a while! You know, let your hair down! Cut a rug! Stay up past midnight! DON'T VOTE FOR CLOTURE FOR LIKELY RAPISTS!


But no, the cloture vote in the Senate for Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation -- which is not the final vote, but just a procedural thingie -- has happened and you, Fucking Joe of Manchin, decided to vote "yes"! Which means things are basically over unless you grow a dick in the next 24 hours and Susan Collins announces at 3 PM Eastern that she's a no on the final vote. You are "undecided" officially! You still have time to make a big boy decision!

As for the other senators who have been wavering, Lisa Murkowski voted "no" on cloture, because fuck yeah she did. She literally changed her mind on her vote while she was walking to the chamber. Hey Murk! Wanna be a Democrat? We'll give you five dollars, which will have to be appropriately reported as a donation, because we are not saying five dollar bribes at you, we swear!

Meanwhile, Jeff Flake, after pretending to care for like a whole week, decided to be a loser sack of shit again and stated his support in the final vote for Kavanaugh, unless he changes his mind for the 80th time, a possibility he has left open, as usual.

It is a true fact that some senators really get off on voting for cloture, because they have a real big hard-on for Senate procedural stuff, and then like to save their fuck you for the final vote. (See; McCain, John -- THUMBS DOWN.)

You gonna do that, Joe Manchin? Or are you going to be the worst, like you always are?

We really wish this could be a positive post, like a FUCK YEAH YOU CAN DO IT thing where we are encouraging that one shithole on our team to FUCKING play ball for once in his goddamned life. You'd think the fact that literally every other endangered red state Democratic senator understands the gravity of not putting EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE COCKFUCKS WITH ANGER ISSUES AND PROBABLY ALSO DRINKING ISSUES AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE ISSUES on the motherfucking Supreme Court of the United States of America might convince you to do the right thing.

But nah.

Hey, maybe we are wrong, and if we are, we'll write a post called "Wonkette is Sexxxxy When We're Wrong." Maybe there is some kind of grand bargain going on and Flake is lying and Collins has a surprise. Maybe the deal is that you really really really think you'll lose your seat if you don't give West Virginians the Looks LIke A Date Rapist their hearts desire, and you are safe because they're all three gonna strut their stuff and kill the nomination. Maybe! Maybe Chris Coons will beat up Jeff Flake again, with bipartisan affection!

BUT WE'RE NOT FUCKING HOLDING OUT HOPE. For one thing, the White House is pretty sure it's a done deal:

So there's that.

We'll find out for sure at 3:00 PM Eastern, when Susan Collins announces why, as a Republican woman, she can't help but feel that bitches are lyin' and that moreover, Brett Kavanaugh looked pretty badass to her when he was having a sniveling shitfit on the Senate floor.

So as we approach the end of this post, we are just going to go ahead and stick with WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH JOE MANCHIN and JESUS FUCK DUDE, GO JUMP IN A LAKE WITH JEFF FLAKE and whatever other mean stuff we are not thinking of right now but we'll remember later once we've started drinking.

At least there's an election coming up, so FUCKING VOTE. And get ready to fight against this fucking asshole judge forever or until the second we remove him, because as we said the other day, this fight won't be over once Brett Kavanaugh is pullin' pubes with Clarence Thomas on the Court.

It's only beginning.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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