'Oh No, Not Our Favorite Actor Vince Vaughn!' Cries All Of Liberal America
The news came on Monday. A video of Vince Vaughn, the guy from Swingers, talking to Donald Trump at some kind of sports game. The feeling of a thousand hearts dropping into a thousand stomachs. How could this be, we asked ourselves! Who among us was not super obsessed with Vince Vaughn and yet entirely unaware of the fact that his politics are, and always have been, pretty gross.
And yet, soon, that sadness turned to anger. We vowed to ourselves to use our collective power to cancel him and his entire career, and make it so no one can ever again watch Wedding Crashers, Dodgeball or that one with Jennifer Aniston. Oh boy, were we ever invested in that ... whole thing!
I mean, just look at this!
I'm very sorry to have to share this video with you. All of it, every part of it. https://t.co/ELMbDHZbZq— Timothy Burke (@Timothy Burke) 1578969901.0
My heart is straight up broke, as is yours, I imagine.
Naturally, as soon as they heard about our ginormous heartbreak, Fox News was on the case. Despite a million other things going on in the world, they spent a whole entire day talking about how mean and unfair all of the liberals were to poor Vince Vaughn. And also how we were probably on a mission to prevent "Fox & Friends" co-host Brian Kilmeade from ever again enjoying the cinematic classic, Fred Claus.
The gang at Fox even managed to find an obviously serious tweet from noted liberal (except not) Siraj Hasmi declaring poor Vince Vaughn canceled forever.
Are we "overreacting"? I say no!
Who can even blame us for sobbing as Vince Vaughn, a man who loved Ron Paul and whom we could definitely pick out of a lineup featuring him along with multiple Johnny Knoxvilles, spoke to Donald Trump. Oh how it killed us inside, seeing as how this is the kind of thing we all feel very deeply about.
RIP all of us. It was fun while it lasted.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse