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Marc Dann, the attorney general of Ohio whose recent involvement in what Ohioans are calling "Pajamagate" -- but what we earlier dubbed "Hawaiian Pizza 'n' Penis Sex Carnivalgate" -- has admitted to having a sex affair with his scheduler, Jessica Utovich, pictured here. Hmmm... eh?


Like all cool attorney generals, Dann lived with two of his best guys friends in the Penis Pad of Political Power, a.k.a. a Columbus, Ohio condo. The scandal began when two former employees filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Dann's director of general services and roommate, Anthony Gutierrez, who once lured the two gals over with promises of Hawaiian pizza. The two ladies saw Utovich walking around in her pajamas when they made it over.

It could have just been a coincidence, or a space hologram.

But he was doing her. Or rather, he did not create such conditions in the physical and mental compartment of his life or the vagina of Utovich's life such that his penis unnecessarily found itself inappropriately loitering in the latter:

"I did not create an atmosphere in my public and personal life that is consistent with the important mission of the Office of Attorney General ...," Dann said. "I am heartbroken by my failure to recognize the problems being created and by my failure to stop them."


He apologizes for the atmosphere of fucking his secretary that he allowed himself to create.

Ohio attorney general admits to affair with employee [AP/Google]



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