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Oil Explosion To Destroy Earth Before Global Warming Has A Chance

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  • So you've probably been thinking throughout this whole gulf-destroying oil spill business: Isn't there, like, some kind of meddling bureaucratic government agency that's supposed to make whiny liberal complaints about potential environmental apocalypse when someone asks to set up an offshore drilling rig? Turns out that, whoops, there is, and they have been, but the Minerals Management Service has just been stone cold handing out permits anyway! The Mark Trail-endorsed National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has been raising objections about sea life when these leases are approved, but apparently the MMS kids have "given up any pretense of regulating the offshore oil industry," according to some environmentalist lady who lives in Tucson, protected from sinister oil spills by thousands of miles of deserts. [NYT]
  • In other cheery oil spill news, according to nerds, the sea floor could give way under all the pressure of oil gushing out, and then the whole Gulf of Mexico could blow up, in an "Earth extinction event." [Slashdot]
  • Did blogs affect the British election? These are the tough questions the BBC is asking, because it is still 2004 over there, apparently. [BBC]
  • Today in foreign unrest: Thailand, Kyrgyzstan, Indonesia. The Indonesian dudes were plotting to kill their president and, more importantly, our president, who is also Indonesian.
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Did you know the Russia investigation is still a thing? America sort of took a break from it (Robert Mueller didn't), so we could focus on being horrified that Donald Trump has been ripping babies out of mommies' arms with such glee you'd think the babies were Big Macs. But here are a couple stories you might have missed in the past couple of days, and they both involve Devin Nunes obstructing justice, because that's the only thing he's good at. (OK, fine, we may have heard a rumor that he is also good at fucking cows, but that is just a rumor, so you guys need to stop being such Gossiping Gwendolyns!)

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This weekend, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was politely asked to leave a restaurant in Virginia. Before that, Department of Homeland Security chief Kirstjen Nielsen -- fresh off of denying then excusing putting Mexican children in cages -- was shamed out of a Mexican restaurant. And Pam Bondi, the Florida AG, got her ass booed out of a screening of the Mr. Rogers documentary by a good citizen. Watch it, it was great!

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