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OMFG Your Precious Hand-Knit Etsy Hipster Item Is Totes Racist, LOL

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Don't have enough hipster racism in your life? Why not buy some bullshit "Americana" featuring every possible type of loving depiction of negros, as long as those loving depictions have big red lips and googly eyes? It's so easy, just go to Etsy!


Here is an easy rule of thumb to remember, in case you are worried "is this racist?" Just ask yourself: Are you a black person? Then you can buy all the Aunt Jemima products or golliwogs or this thing that you want! Are you not a black person? Then don't do that!

Maybe you have a childhood attachment to Little Black Sambo, because it was awesome how he tricked the tigers! That's fine! But it was 40 years ago for a reason.

Maybe you are a white person who wants your child to play with and love on dolls who are black, out of liberalness! That is excellent! Here, this doll who is black is a ballerina. Isn't that nicer?

Anyway, oof Etsy. We thought you were embarrassing before, when your only crime was encouraging young women to arts and crafts their hearts out. But now that we know you sell this, well, we will see you in hell.

[Change.org]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Because it had been literal days since a journalist published an article about venturing into the hinterlands to meet the rubes and find out why they still love Donald Trump, the Washington Post served us up something special on Sunday! WaPo's Stephanie McCrummen went to Luverne, Alabama (population 2,700) -- more specifically to the First Baptist Church in Luverne, Alabama -- to find out how God's country faithful who hate the sin and love the sinner (Donald Trump) are holding up. Here is what she learned as she traveled through the pews of First Baptist and shook hands.

(Wonkette has changed all the names to protect the ignorant, even though WaPo used their real names LOLOL, WaPo is a dick.)

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We begin our Sunday Rundown with former Trump foreign policy adviser and creepy inappropriate smiler Carter Page on CNN's "State of the Union" with Jake Tapper:

Honestly, Carter, stop smiling. It's seriously is not helping....

After the release of those 400+ pages of FISA application for the surveillance of Carter Page, Page did the idiotic thing -- as he has done before -- and went on TV again to attempt to put out a fire with a can of gasoline. Jake Tapper immediately got to the heart of the matter.

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