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On the Ground At Barack Obama's Birthday/Ramadan Festival

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President Obama is celebrating his birthday tonight, with Jennifer Hudson and those treadmill-dancing fellows. He is doing this in Chicago, so your Wonkette decided to give up a perfectly good Wednesday evening to try to go hear Rahm Emanuel yell some swears. This did not happen, and overall it was a very boring street gathering of Poors unable to pay their way inside. But we took pictures anyway, so there you go.


Our President decided to hold his birthday fiesta at the Aragon Ballroom, which is located in Chicago's Uptown neighborhood, home of immigrants, refugees, meth addicts and lunchtime drive-bys. The Crazies did not really act out any more than usual, and did not really seem to care that President Obama was having a $$$uper fun 50th while they waited for their food stamps to be reloaded. There was a brief moment of excitement when a biker man in a black skirt and pink pigtails decided to just pedal on through the security barrier, forcing Chicago police to waddle over to him, yelling "Hey you, uh, stop that!"

Bored people waiting outside thought that maybe Barry would come "say hi" but HA HA, he does not do that, silly Poors.

We were especially disappointed that there was no Tea Party "Jobs Bash" at the bar across the street. We thought that maybe they had been scared off by the Ethiopian restaurants and Pride flags, but oh, it also turns out that you can't just have organized events at bars that hate you, according to the guy checking ID at the door. "I'm sure you will see them around the neighborhood, looking glassy-eyed and out of place," he said, with hate in his eyes. Happy birthday, Barry!

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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