• The universally polite and respectful community of the world’s soccer fans are FED UP with those obnoxious World Cup Horatio Hornblowers. Why can’t soccer be dignified again, like NASCAR? [NYDailyNews]
  • Notoriously elitist boy’s club: the homeless, have finally allowed women and children into their circle of aluminum can racketeers. [USA Today]
  • NYU looks to construct a literal ivory tower, on Ground Zero. [Daily Intel]
  • Silly Breitbart double-entendre editors title important story: “Spanish Clinic Probed for Offering to ‘Cure’ Gays.” [Breitbart]
  • True Eyewitness Report: While dining in Soho last night, your intern encountered courageous anti-tanning-bed tax advocates Snooki and DJ Pauly D from the documentary and “house music” show Jersey Shore. They were apparently celebrating the fact their less interesting/alcoholic castmates are being booted from the show. Never forget! [TMZ]

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