Orrin Hatch Thinks You're A Stupid Fucking Idiot
Congratulations to plusgood doublethinker Orrin Hatch for his stirring condemnation of the completely unbelievable partisan opposition of Democrats to the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh. You see, Senate Democrats have been asking for records from Kavanaugh's time in the George W. Bush White House, seeing as how Kavanaugh said in 2016 his job as Bush's staff secretary had been central to forming his outlook as a judge. Republicans claim Democrats are just being mean, and yesterday, the National Archives delivered a very thin portion of the documents from Kavanaugh's time in a different job, in the White House Counsel's office, and shouldn't that be plenty, although it's not what Dems asked for?
Hatch did his spluttering indignant best to pretend Democrats had reached new lows in partisanship, oh, their nerve!
We can't keep going down this partisan, picky, stupid, dumbass road that has happened around here for so long. I'm sick and tired of it, to be honest with you. And I'm tired of the partisanship, and frankly, we didn't treat their candidates for these positions the way they're treating ours.
That is an excellent point, Senator Hatch! Back in the ancient history of two years ago, it's very true that Republicans didn't demand a bunch of documents prior to Merrick Garland's confirmation hearing, because instead, Mitch McConnell simply refused to give Garland a hearing at all. That is quite different indeed.
The complete WTF amnesia about Merrick Unperson and his trip down the GOP Memory Hole got started with McConnell himself, immediately following Trump's announcement that Brett Kavanaugh would get the nod:
Yes, nobody understands dignity and respect like the man who, for the first time in history, told a sitting president the Senate refused to do its job because maybe Republicans would get lucky with the presidential election. Funny how that worked out, especially after McConnell also promised a hissy fit about "partisan politics" if Barack Obama muddied up the 2016 election by releasing the Intelligence Community's assessment that Russia was fucking around in the puters to help Donald Trump.
Boy oh boy, it sure would be embarrassing if it turned out Orrin Hatch had been, like, partisan about Garland's nomination, wouldn't it? After all, Barack Obama went out of his way to quote Hatch when he nominated Garland, pointing out that when Garland was nominated for the the DC Circuit Court, Hatch, then chairman of the Judiciary Committee, had said
In all honesty, I would like to see one person come to this floor and say one reason why Merrick Garland does not deserve this position.
Hatch had even called out fellow Republicans who opposed Garland's confirmation of "playing politics with judges" and later said -- duh -- Garland would make for a "consensus nominee" for the Supreme Court, one who "would be very well supported by all sides." And just the week before Obama nominated Garland, Hatch went on Newsmax TV and bemoaned the absolute certainty that Barack Obama would certainly not "name Merrick Garland," because Obama was so hyperpartisan, and so would name someone far more liberal.
So, big surprise: Before Hatch actually met with Garland in May of 2016 -- for the sake of formality, and to show how bipartisan he could be -- he said he simply couldn't possibly think of actually letting Garland be confirmed before the election.
Despite my personal affection for Merrick, I remain convinced that the right way for the Senate to do its job is to conduct a confirmation process after this contentious presidential election season is over [...] Doing so is the proper course to ensure a constructive process for a nominee and to preserve the integrity of the Supreme Court.
Hatch's respect for the dignity and grandeur of democracy was also undercut by the publication, by the Deseret News back home in Utah, of an op-ed under Hatch's name, in which he said, using the past tense, that his meeting with Garland simply hadn't convinced him to support giving him a hearing.
Yes, it ran before the meeting ever happened. The draft was supposed to be held until later and updated with some specific hooey to make it seem like Hatch had seriously given the matter any thought.
In conclusion, we sure do like how the Republicans have all grown a set of principles when it comes to giving judicial nominees a fair hearing, and golly, we're looking forward to Newt Gingrich offering us another lecture on civility again real soon, the end.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.