• Obama gets a gold medal in the prestigious Kindly Requesting The Olympics For Chicago While In Denmark event. [New York Times]
  • David Letterman slept with some people on his staff and some other lady turned around and performed extortion on him! [New York Times]
  • Some ex-prosecutor on the Roman Polanski case now admits that he made a bunch of shit up for some documentary about Polanski. [CNN]
  • Iran has agreed to start outsourcing its uranium to other countries for enriching purposes. (David Letterman's intern is now extorting Iran.) [WSJ]
  • GE and Comcast might go halvies on NBC Universal-ownership. Everyone should please check with Tina Fey to make sure this is doable, plotwise, before doing anything. [Reuters]
  • When the Labor Dept. releases its unemployment report on Friday, America might tie some 1983 unemployment Olympic record. USA! [AP]
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