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Outraged Nativists Reclaim Mexico From Absolut Vodka

Now we address the Canadian ProblemThe rampant, raging Absolut vodka controversy took on new dimensions this weekend when a pack of insane nativists vowed to boycott Absolut and demanded the firing of the employee who approved an ad that encourages the Mexicans to take over the Northern Hemisphere. To be fair, it is well known that The Illegals and their cohort take most of their political marching orders from liquor ads.


Just because Absolut apologized for fomenting a second Mexican Revolution doesn't mean that company is off the hook, no!

A group called the FIRE Coalition typed up a Web site that said this:

  • "We agree, in part, with one of Michelle Malkin's readers: 'In an Absolut world, a company that produces vodka fires its entire marketing department in a desperate attempt to win back enraged North American customers after a disastrous ad campaign backfires'."
  • "We intent [sic] to continue this boycott until the employee responsible for approving the ad is fired from the company."
  • "It's time for Americans to put their foot down and say enough is enough! We are not going to put up with corporations aiding and abetting illegal aliens anymore!"

Everybody please join these lunatics in their worthy cause so that America can be free, once and for all, of the scourge of reckless advertising copywriters.

Vodka-maker Absolut apologizes, ends ad showing California, Texas as part of Mexico [AP]

Boycott Absolut Spirits Company for encouraging Reconquista! [AbsolutlyNot.com]

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

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