Over-Excited Senators Fail to Make Good on Promise to Stay Up All Night
The good old days of wacky parliamentary bullshit are long gone in the Senate -- you don't even have to actually filibuster to filibuster any more, how lame is that -- so we were kinda half-heartedly excited for this all-night session thing that Harry Reid was going to force everyone to do. Then he pussed out and they set up cots and he changed the times of the roll-call vote so everyone could get a couple hours of sleep, stripping his useless political stunt of what little slightly-comprehensible symbolism it possessed. After all, if we could've forced Orrin Hatch to stay up all night, we might've finally won (lost?) in Iraq. Now, nothing.
"Nobody wanted to be the next Bob Packwood," the Post says. They're referring not to the only thing anyone remembers about Bob Packwood -- because if they were, David Vitter would pretty much already have that one beat -- but instead to this obscure little tale of Senate hijinks:
In February 1988, Capitol Police carried Senator Bob Packwood feet first into the Senate chamber. This occurred after the Senate ordered the arrest of absent senators to maintain a quorum during a filibuster on campaign finance legislation.
And look how well that turned out. Poor, sleep-deprived Bob was so shaken after that incident that he accidentally sexually assaulted 30 women.
Poor sleepy Joe Lieberman was clearly losing it:
Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (I-Conn.) took to the floor just before 11 p.m. to denounce the amendment and noted that he hoped the cots would "wake up the senators," referring to the Democrats.
Lieberman, the 2004 Democratic vice presidential nominee, voted with the Republicans on the procedural vote at 8:30 p.m., just as he has on every war vote this year.
The cots will do what now, Joe?? Are you ok? Also congrats on your traveling back in time to also lose the '04 election!
The legislation bringing our troops home will not actually be defeated until 11 a.m. We promise to do whatever it takes to stay awake until then.