A Guide To Pride For Indoor Kids

Or shy people, or people who prefer the couch to the club!

Have a paint party and paint this on somebody’s butt or your wall! Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

It is the final weekend of Pride Month, which famously means NO GAY for the rest of the year. Whether you are LGBTQIA+ or simply a fun cis hetero human who enjoys the music of Cyndi Lauper and Charli XCX, you likely have taken note of the festivities! BUT, if you are like me, and do not always love a crowd, perhaps you have not gone to a party or a parade. This is okay!

I am a confirmed homebody, and while I do enjoy going out and about (such as maybe a weekend date with Our

Robyn Pennacchia

?) I also know very well that there are ways to have Nice Queer Times without actually going to a function.

Dance to queer music in your house!

You don’t even have to invite anybody else! Just shake your spectacular rear end to music by, for, and about the queer peoples of the world.

You can even SING ALONG and not worry about other people hearing you! Who cares what your dog thinks? You’re a pink pony girl and a party icon.

Cry to ELGEEBEETEECUE SOUNDS in your house!

Haunted by memories of someone who should’ve admitted you were in a relationship and in love but instead they hid it for whatever reason or you just felt slighted and ignored? THIS HAPPENS TO MOST HUMANS AT SOME POINT, NOT JUST THE UNSTRAIGHTS!

Or maybe you’re just in a mood. As my fitness teacher, who is 65 and amazing, said to me the other day, “It is okay to cry. I once wept in front of a whole class during certification training. They said everybody does it. Moving the body unlocks feelings. It is healthy!” (See why I put this after the dance party thing? THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE.)

Throw a geigh film festival in your bonus room!

Or your studio apartment! You don’t have to invite anybody else. You can give out fancy prizes and dress up like you’re at Cannes, except you’re in sweatpants and the “prizes” are snacks you put in your mouth.

Queer cinema runs from the obscure (Jurassic Park, which tells us dinosaurs know no gender but POWER) to the mainstream (Instagram close friends stories by your little nonbinary cousin complaining about your grandma, this counts as cinéma vérité.)

And tonight right here at Wonkette at 9 p.m. eastern, Ziggy Wiggy will be showing PRIDE!

In conclusion, there are simply so many ways to enjoy the LGBTQIA+ experience at home. Don’t worry if you can’t or won’t go out for Pride — stay in and have fun! We love you and we like you.