Anthony Bourdain's Five Ingredient Sandwich Left Us Speechless! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 28, 2024

Was it tongue? I bet it was tongue. Morning news roundup!

Martini Glambassador forgot to take her computer with her on vacation, so no gif for you! Instead, here’s some old lady cleavage voting for Biden in Michigan (it was covered up for anti-”electioneering” because I am not a scofflaw!). I will put these and other temporary tattoos up on Wonkette Bazaar for your enjoyment and also your wallet … soon!

Josh Marshall muses about the Democratic primary “uncommitted” push vs. Biden in Michigan. Guess we’ll find out this morning, because I stopped writing this edition of tabs way before the polls closed! (Gift link Talking Points Memo) Marshall on what people expect Biden to do in Gaza, what’s realistic, what’s crazy, and what Biden should really actually be doing in Gaza. (TPM again)

Mary McNamara’s shitty, fucked up, no really fucked up day. My middle aged lib women writer friends know that the pandemic fucked us all up as surely as the Depression and WWII fucked up our grandparents. Congratulations, we’re all fucked up! (LA Times)

People are so helpful! Donald Trump Debt Counter (does not seem to include all his many millions and billions in regular, non-lawsuit-related debt).

I am absolutely not buying that fully two-thirds of The Kids These Days (voters between 18 and 24) approve of Donald Trump’s record as president. I’m not saying there aren’t plenty of bright, shiny, li’l Nazi tots, but that number is nonsense. Whatever, Harvard CAPS-Harris poll and Newsweek.

Michigan Republicans optimistic abortion’s no longer relevant, since … LOOK OVER THERE. (Washington Examiner)

Wait wait wait, “Maryland” Matt Rosendale dropped out of Montana’s US Senate race last week, while I was on vacation, because Trump endorsed the hot centimillionaire instead? And former North Dakota Sen. Heidi Heitkamp is blowing up the radio claiming Matt knocked up a 20-year-old staffer? Well LOLLLL I mean I certainly hope that’s not true. It would be so gross! (Politico: link fixed!)

According to this dude who watched it, Brett Kavanaugh — yes, that Brett Kavanaugh! — was the First Amendment hero in SCOTUS arguments on Monday. They do like to take their turns doing One Good Thing! (Daily Beast)

This Republican also did One Good Thing, voting to shelve an anti-trans bill that would have put punching trans children on the November ballot. But damn, that’s a lot of other punch the trans children measures on ballots throughout the country. California, please murder that ballot measure so hard its mama feels it. (California can be shitty sometimes too! Prop 8 I’m looking at you!) (Erin in the Morning)

I think these parents complaining about the bullshit Willy Wonka they paid 35 quid to enjoy should consider that their children could have been made very tall and stretchy, or quite tiny and in a television, or completely violet, Violet, and thank their lucky stars they got off with just this cheap-ass shit! Also their children should stop whining, there’s entire songs about that! (By the way, the new Wonka gets a hard recommend from me. It’s so good that Shy and I even get the appeal of Timothee Chalamet now.) (STV News)

Anthony Bourdain’s sandwich! I don’t think it sounds delicious at all! (All Recipes) You know what sounds better? Every single sandwich in Emeril Lagasse’s sandwiches book, which I have never made anything from because #lazy, but which I enjoy looking at, and which I own! (Wonkette commission link!)

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