BC Conservatives Doing Like The French Left And Uniting Maybe! They Should Do Not That.

If you can't beat 'em, joining 'em might still be on the table.

Loba the husky demonstrates how to properly submit. (Photo: Carmen Alatorre)

History will remember Joe Biden as one the greatest presidents of modern times not just for steering the country out of the ditch the previous guy left the place in but also for putting the well-being of the nation above his own ego and ambition by handing the wheel to Kamala Harris.

But imagine if, after watching people freak out after his disastrous debate performance against a fellow sundowning senior, Old Handsome Joe instead declared the Democratic Party was going to sit this one out and urged candidates to either run as independents or throw their support to Cornel West and the People's Party as the best bet to kick Donald J. Trump to the curb again. Or, even worse, Jill Stein.

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This is pretty much what just happened in British Columbia after BC United leader Kevin Falcon suspended the party’s campaign for the provincial election next month and urged candidates — including the party’s 20 sitting incumbents — to find a seat aboard the BC Conservatives’ crazy train instead.

You’ve perhaps never heard of BC United. This is part of their problem; a lot of British Columbians haven’t heard of them either after the center-right party formerly known as the BC Liberals rebranded last year because the L-word has become kryptonite to a good chunk of their base. They didn’t want to risk losing the potential voters who drive around with “Fuck Trudeau” bumper stickers and have no idea the party hasn’t actually been associated with the federal Liberals in decades. Libs of BC might’ve worked instead but it’s too late now.

The BC Liberals were in charge for 16 of the 25 years I’ve spent living in Canada’s westernmost province. They lost by a whisker — a term Trump himself unexpectedly used the other day to describe his own electoral whupping four years ago after forgetting to pretend it was actually RIGGED and STOLLEN — to the lefty NDP in 2017 despite winning the popular vote. But they got their asses handed to them in the following election and, despite being the Official Opposition, decided it was time for a full makeover. Hence a new leader and unintentionally ironic new name.

Birds of a feather flock together but Falcon didn’t want to be seen as completely out-of-touch with the times — and so one of his first acts as the new boss was to boot longserving Nechako Lakes MLA John Rustad from caucus for insisting the climate crisis isn’t real. Rustad retaliated by jumpstarting the slumbering BC Conservatives — a fringe party also officially unaffiliated with their federal counterpart that had more or less been consigned to the dustbin of history — and convinced three other elected former Liberals to join him when it became clear BC United weren’t actually uniting anyone.

Seeing the writing on the wall after recent polls showed the re-energized Tories narrowly ahead of the governing NDP, Falcon chose to fall on his sword and force his erstwhile teammates to do the same rather than risk vote-splitting the Right. Father knows best.

"What became apparent to me, as I've crisscrossed the province and heard from literally tens of thousands of people, is the number one major concern that they had, and that is, 'Kevin, if you guys don't do the right thing and be the adults in the room and help bring together that free enterprise center-right, common-sense coalition, you are going to help elect an NDP government," Falcon told reporters at a hastily convened press conference announcing the surrender.

There hasn’t been a political 180 this abrupt since JD Vance decided “America’s Hitler” wasn’t so bad after all. This is the same guy who just two weeks ago showed up at an event with special tinfoil hats emblazoned with the words “5G Resistant, Endorsed by John Rustad” after it came out one of the Conservatives running for office had made Facebook posts during the pandemic claiming cellphone towers are “genocidal weapons” that cause COVID-19.

Nobody knows what’s going to come next. BC Liberal United heavyweights Shirley Bond and Todd Stone have already announced they’re not thirsty for the Kool-Aid and won’t seek re-election, and it remains to be seen if Rustad will lean towards seeking potential defectors with a track record of electability or more ideologically aligned fellow travelers from the lunatic Right.

But he certainly hasn’t come around on grasping the impact burning fossil fuels has had on the planet. Rustad recently had a meeting of the minds with Jordan Peterson — last seen in Wonkette pitching a fit over new traffic safety measures in New Jersey — on the disgraced psychologist’s podcast where the two discussed their shared skepticism about climate change.

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“It’s a sad reality, but how is it that we’ve convinced carbon-based beings that carbon is a problem?” Rustad asked his host while vowing to axe BC’s carbon tax and expand fuel production if put into power.

Which is a bit like asking how it’s possible human beings can drown since we are made of more than 50 percent water. Or why, since we are made entirely of atoms, anyone would be concerned about a falling anvil about to land on their head since it too is made of atoms.

At press time, BC Green Party leader Sonia Furstenau had yet to insist her own candidates throw in the reusable towel and join the NDP to avoid splitting the progressive vote. But there’s still six weeks to go before election day.

The fastest animal on the planet is the peregrine falcon, capable of reaching a diving speed of 200 mph; Kevin Falcon’s own nosedive took more than a year but didn’t end with quite the same splash.

[Business in Vancouver]