Checking In: HOW WE ALL DOING?

Be careful out there.

Lu and Donna Rose got they hair did.

Wonkeros and Wonkerinas and Wonkenbies of love, we are all having a rough one! So let’s talk through some shit.

First, we all need to meditate. Because things are looking dark — they are — and we can’t do the next four months or longer than that the way we did 2016-2020. Our bodies can’t fucking take it. So meditate, or do some fucking yoga, or drink more probably. We have a bartender! If you have already had your lifetime allotment of drinks, you will just have to take up heroin.

Second, there’s two camps in the comments here, and I’m in both of them. Joe Biden is our guy — and no, I never thought in 2020 Ol’ Centrist Joe would turn into a president for the goddamn ages. He had a rough fucking night a week ago. (Please don’t let people tell you it was just a “hoarse voice,” that’s just lying, and we don’t lie.) Since then he’s been between “fine” and “terrific.” It’s entirely galling that the media is leading this crusade, which isn’t much different than the one they’d be leading if he had mixed up two names (but not if it’s Trump accusing his nomination rival Nikki Haley of being in charge of the House during January 6, because that’s fine apparently). But this was different, and we all saw it. And now the New York Times is going to get ever so much better a scalp than just “president of Harvard did sloppy citations.” It’s infuriating, and fuck them forever. And they’re not going to stop.

So half the camp here, and I’m among them, is “Will vote for Literally Actually Dead Joe if it comes to that, his administration is full of good people doing a great job” and stop undermining him you are doing their work.

And half the camp here, and I’m among them, is we are going to lose, the American people saw it, and they’re not taking it, and we better DO SOMETHING MERRICK.

I watched my son’s dismay watching the debate; my husband left the room 10 minutes in. They’re normie liberals, not overinundated freakshows who do this all day every day, like the rest of us here. It’s not good. We got unlucky.

But if the stampede keeps going, and I think it will, we have a solution. There happens to be a woman we hired specifically for the job of vice president to the oldest man we’ve ever elected president.

Yes of course the media will bash her upside the head with a fancy French pan. They will do that regardless, it’s in their vampire asshole blood.

But I think the people — who really don’t fucking want Trump — will ignore their bullshit and be grateful to pull the lever for a normal, smart, attractive (and historic!) woman.

I think!

My little brother is one of those entire dicks for whom nothing the Democrats ever do is anything like good enough by virtue of the fact that it was the Democrats who did it, QED. And he says everyone he knows will vote for Kamala even though she Is A Cop. She’s not tainted with the young by Joe’s support for Israel, which was our previous worry before the debate went down. I think maybe his comrades don’t actually want everyone they know to blame them for The Camps over the next four years, and are looking for a non-Joe-flavored out. For what it’s worth, he also said waaaay back that Joe Biden should embrace “Brandon,” long before “Dark Brandon” was a thing, and I told him shut the fuck up, idiot. So he was right about one thing. He might even be right about two!

There is no Official Wonkette Editorial Policy for what we’re going through right now. I don’t know what to do! Nobody knows what to do! We are all allowed to disagree with each other here, and you don’t need to report comments to me for not being sufficiently Joe-loving or Joe-hating. What you can’t do is yell at each other that you are stupid idiots who are to blame for everything. Seriously, stop that shit.

But it seems to me that the only option if we don’t power through it — which I’m thinking more and more simply isn’t going to succeed — is the woman who’s already on the ticket. You can disagree about that too, it is allowed! But truly, don’t be a fuckdick about it. I’ve been banning people more and more for fuckdickery.

Because I am Tyrant now, like Old Tyrant Joe. I heard he tried to cancel some student loans once, just because the law said he could, fuckin tyrant.

Okay the end.

Grandma Donna (Commie Mom) and two dogs.

Keep Wonkette going forever, if you are able. We love you too.