Desperate Trump Campaign Brings Back … Sex Pest Corey Lewandowski?

Just what the campaign needs to turn this thing around!

Sure is hard to quit Corey Lewandowski!

An apparently desperate Trump campaign has brought back that thin-lipped creepo as an “advisor,” after three years in exile, along with four other blasts from Trump’s past, Alex Pfeiffer, Taylor Budowich, Alex Bruesewitz, and Tim Murtaugh.

What is it about Lewandowski, what is that je ne sais quoi that Trump craves? He got fired by Trump twice already! Once in June of 2016, a few months after he was arrested and charged with battery for assaulting Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields (charges were later dropped, even though the incident was on video). But Trump summoned him back a month later, right before the GOP convention.

Lewandowski’s greatest hits include when he “womp womp” mocked the story of a 10-year-old girl with Down syndrome who was separated from her mother after crossing the border, showed up on Fox seemingly drunk and slurring his words, and reportedly carried on an affair for years with married South Dakota governor Kristi Noem. (Some People even say he was the one with the genius idea to include that dog-shooting incident in her book.) MAGA singer Joy Villa also accused Lewandowski of repeatedly slapping her ass.

“I said, ‘Watch it.’ Half-joking, I said, ‘I can report you for sexual harassment.’”

“He said, ‘Go ahead, I work in the private sector,’” Villa recalled. “Then he smacks my ass again.” 

Oh, and WHILE MARRIED he reportedly bumped bits with the nine-years-younger Hope Hicks, to which Trump remarked, “You're the best piece of tail he'll ever have.” Party of family values!

What it finally took to get Lewandowski let go from official Trump duties was HOLY SHIT details coming out about his (alleged) vile sexual piggery and fucking scary aggression towards Trashelle Odom, a Trump campaign donor’s wife, at a Las Vegas Benihana fundraiser: talking about his dick nonstop over dinner, bragging to her about committing multiple murders, touching her repeatedly, throwing a drink in her face and calling her stupid for rebuffing his advances, eating off of her plate, stalking her to her hotel room … all in front of Odom’s husband, and (married) Lewandowski’s alleged mistress, South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem(!) The Daily Mail got hold of the police report, and it is quite something! Enough to get him canned from the Trump PAC, because there IS a line too far, and that is assaulting a major donor’s wife! Lewandowski was charged with criminal sexual harassment, but got a plea deal that included “impulse control training.”

Wrote Liz Dye, lawyer and psychic, in 2021, “he'll probably get put in time out for ten minutes, then wind up in the inner circle again when Trump thinks nobody's looking. Take that one to the bank.” Amazing.

Lewandowski’s already killing it! 

“How could anyone not be excited to help elect this man? I’ve been with President realDonaldTrump since Day 1, worked for him in 2016 & 2020, and I’m excited to be back on the Campaign Team to help deliver victory in 2024. 81 Days Left - Let Trump, Be Trump! Get off the couch and join us, the President needs your help.”

Really, “get off the couch” is the wording he decided to go with there?

Lewandowski’s motto, he says, is “let Trump be Trump.” So we’re gonna take a stab and say Trump is mad that his current campaign managers, Susie Wiles and Chris LaCivita, are advising Trump to dial it back and try to act a little less like a flaming hemorrhoid with only 80-something days left to go until the election. And you know Trump has no interest in that!

Lewandowski’s bragged in the past that he has “no obligation to be honest with the media.” Will “the media” fall for his crap and give his lies a platform on the TV anyway? We shall see!

Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride! By which we mean nauseating!