'FREE SPEECH ZONE: EIGHT DOLLARS!' Maybe Not Genius Twitter Plan Elon Musk Thinks It Is

Anybody wanna pay Elon Musk eight bucks a month in exchange for literally nothing?

Well, we guess giving Elon Musk reacharounds for the low, low price of $20 per month didn't catch on among the huddled masses yearning to be free, after Stephen King told him to eat shit. 

So Elon Musk, who literally spent $44 billion to buy Twitter, at least somewhat probably because people make fun of him on on Twitter and it was hurting his feelings on Twitter, suggested $8 per month.

Would Stephen King and also everyone else also pay Elon Musk $8 per month in exchange for literally fucking nothing of value?  

“Twitter’s current lords & peasants system for who has or doesn’t have a blue checkmark is bullshit. Power to the people! Blue for $8/month.”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667324208 

That's not why Twitter verification exists, but OK, sure, power to the people! It costs the people $8 a month!

We assume it also costs the White House $8 a month, and all the corporations on Twitter $8 a month.

How very equality! How very level playing field! Almost like a Flat Tax! 

  But you pay it to this one dumb motherfucker you don't even like, instead of the government, so that's neat.

“Price adjusted by country proportionate to purchasing power parity”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667324208 

Sure, you bet, he's thought this through and definitely is not just lying in his bed with his dick in his hand.

“You will also get: - Priority in replies, mentions & search, which is essential to defeat spam/scam - Ability to post long video & audio - Half as many ads”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667324208 

Definitely no "lords and peasants" when you have to pay $8 a month or else be effectively shadowbanned.

Still not seeing a "product" here. Idiot still doesn't understand what the "product" Twitter makes is. He's had months to study this.

Also "Free Speech Zone: EIGHT DOLLARS!" is not a very good slogan, we don't think.

“And paywall bypass for publishers willing to work with us”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667324208 

Can't wait to see that list.

“This will also give Twitter a revenue stream to reward content creators”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667324208 

What did that article we quoted from this morning say?

If as many as one in five current blue ticks paid $20 a month that would raise just under $15 million a year for Twitter. That might sound like decent money, but Twitter’s current revenues (mostly from advertising) are $5 billion a year. Musk’s apparent plan would generate about 30 hours’ worth of annual revenue.

Right, so if Elon's brilliant $8 a month plan catches on like the wildfire it obviously is ...

 Giphy 

“There will be a secondary tag below the name for someone who is a public figure, which is already the case for politicians”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667324208 

Hey, what about a blue checkmark?

“https: //t.co/icg6e35LOe”

— Elon Musk (@Elon Musk) 1667330119 

Jesus fucking Christ, what a dork.

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