If You're In Chicago For The DNC, How About This Cavalcade Of Cooch?

NOT LIKE THAT, YOU PERVERTS. It's a happy abortion thing!

If you’re in Chicago for the DNC, or if you’re just there because you live there, Monday night is for the traditional godless liberal ritual of the L’Abortion Variety Hour! It’s got a vaguely French name, so you know it’s a definitely an attack on traditional conservative Christianity.

We’ve told you about the Wonkette party — tonight! at the Kaiser Tiger! — and Sara Benincasa told you about all these other things happening in and around the DNC.

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Sunday, In The Bar, I Think It Will Be August 18!

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A Zillion Fun Things To Do Near The DNC

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Now let me tell you about this event Monday night, August 19, called the L’Abortion Variety Hour, AKA “A Cavalcade of Cooch,” AKA a comedy and music funtimes variety hour benefiting Lizz Winstead’s Abortion Access Front. It’s at the Metro, and here’s where you buy tickets.

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Lizz created “The Daily Show” and Air America Radio, and is basically one of America’s comedy superstars, and her Abortion Access Front takes all those sensibilities to fight for abortion access and expose the gross sicko extremists who are always taking rights away, plus they provide support for all the providers on the ground doing the work for patients every day across America, especially in our current abortion desert hellscape.

Also, full disclosure, Lizz is a dear friend, and her AAF team are friends too, and they are all fuckin’ great.

Ohhhhhh, and she’s like one of Minnesota’s greatest hometown heroes — seriously, a local crop artist made a graven image of her out of corn and seeds at the Minnesota State Fair a couple years back, and we think that is how they confer sainthood in Minnesota — so she probably (definitely) has Tim Walz’s phone number (allegedly).

Lizz will be co-hosting the event with one of Chicago’s most beloved celebrities, the Metro’s own Jill Hopkins, host of the Moth Story Hour — who we hear is also a friend of Wonkette’s own Robyn!

Let’s see, what else?

Standup comedy from Marcella Arguello and Rebecca O’Neal. (Another friend of Robyn’s!)

Burlesque from Dannie Diesel AKA Danielle Colby from “American Pickers.”

Music from Jon Langford and Sally Timms from the British punk band The Mekons, plus more music from Bethany Thomas and Nora O’Connor. (They are not personal friends of Rebecca’s but she NERD LOVES THEM.)

And AAF says there’s more surprises in store!

Also I think Lizz and Jill are going to sing or something? Don’t quote me on that, but Lizz does like to do a song-and-dance number, given the opportunity.

Here are the details once again:

WHAT: L’Abortion Variety Hour: A Cavalcade of Cooch
WHEN: Monday, August 19, 2024, 8 p.m. / Doors 7 p.m.
WHERE: Metro - 3730 N Clark St, Chicago, IL 60613
TICKETS: https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/48930872/

And again, Wonkette will be in attendance, but please don’t try to talk to us, as we are huge celebrities.

See you tomorrow night!

And how about we just call this OPEN THREAD or whatevs.

Evan has a new side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!

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BlueSky! 

@evanjosephhurst on Threads!

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