JD Vance Still Pretending Trump Won 2020 Election. It's Hard Running For Vice President.
Eat all the salted rat dicks, you tool.
Last week, The New York Times printed an interview that bearded scumbag JD Vance gave to Ross Douthat, and if that does not sound like a pitch for Eli Roth’s next movie, we don’t know what would. Any fly on the wall for this conversation would have committed suicide less than halfway through by bashing its little fly head against the nearest hard object until its little fly brain oozed out of its little fly eyes.
And then Vance would blame the fly’s suicide on wokeness or something and whine that elites destroyed the nation’s manufacturing base, leaving the fly jobless and adrift and with no hope for the future, when really the fly killed itself because the phony-baloney Appalachia Whisperer would not simply shut the fuck up.
The whole interview is quite something and should probably be sealed in a lead-lined vault and buried at the bottom of a deep, abandoned salt mine, along with JD Vance himself. But we’re just going to react to the section in which Vance talks about the 2020 election, making it crystal clear that he is either the dumbest or most disingenuous high-profile politician sliming across the national stage right now. And frankly, we don’t think he’s dumb.
Ross Douthat kicks off this section by asking Vance for his take “on the legitimacy of the 2020 election.” Unsurprisingly, the smarmy little twerp is unhappy with it because educated people worked hard to make sure it was fair:
“My actual critique starts with the Molly Ball article in 2021 — that felt like bragging. I put that article in front of the average Trump-fan Republican voter in my hometown, and they say, ‘That is an illegitimate election.’”
The Ball article, as an editor’s note reminds us, detailed how various people and bipartisan organizations worked to protect the integrity of the election against any interference from Trump and his shock troops. In Vance’s eyes, it was actually bad to make sure the election was on the up-and-up, apparently because his voters opposed doing so.
Anyway, the beliefs of the average Trump-fan Republican voter in Vance’s hometown is no more important than the opinion of any other voter anywhere at all, and we don’t run elections by indulging the paranoid fever dreams of JD Vance’s voters and JD Vance’s voters only. Next!
“And look, October surprises are part of American democracy, and whether you think Hunter Biden is as major an issue as I do or disagree, in American democracy you let the voters decide.
“That was a way in which the basic democratic will of America was obstructed.”
The media is not required to uncritically pass along October surprises transparently disguised as political ratfucking. We’d argue bullshit October surprises actually subvert the democratic will of America by letting one small group upend the election through the promulgation of unvetted bullshit. It’s nobody else’s fault that this one time, the media decided to exercise caution. If anything, it gave us some false hope that the media had finally learned some lessons. (Much of the coverage of the 2024 election has brought us back to reality.)
Then Vance goes on to babble about how he rolls his eyes when people say Trump is violating sacred norms of democracy by challenging the elections. On Planet Vance, you should apparently just get to keep challenging the election after all the votes have been counted and recounted and recounted, forever and ever, world without end, amen:
“I think that challenging elections and questioning the legitimacy of elections is actually part of the democratic process. When Trump says the election was stolen, and people say he was wrong, I say, ‘Fine, we can argue about that.’”
We did argue about it, you beady-eyed toad. We argued about it in court, where Trump’s people could not present one shred of evidence that votes were stolen or convince any judges of either political party that changing voting procedures a bit in reaction to the pandemic was a betrayal of some sacred constitutional tenet. We argued about it on TV. We argued about it in print. We argued about it online. We argued about it until our tongues practically fell out and we went through the entire national reserve of indapamide.
But the bottom line is that when Trump says the election was stolen, he’s flat-out lying. Which Vance would admit if he wasn’t so desperate for the vice-presidential nomination on Trump’s ticket that he’d probably swallow and beg for more if that’s what Stupid Mussolini wants.
“If the criticism is, when Tucker Carlson called me in July and said, ‘Dude, I think they’re going to steal the election over a lot of these changed balloting rules,’ the R.N.C. should’ve been mobilizing and responding to that …”
Oh yeah, Tucker Carlson. What happened to that guy? He got fired from Fox News allegedly as part of a massive legal settlement related to his repeating on air the same crap he was telling you on the phone? And you’re still name-dropping him?
This is a point that a decent journalist might have made while pushing back against Vance’s flood of hooey, but this interview wasn’t being conducted by a decent journalist, it was being conducted by Ross Douthat.
It is also why yr Wonkette would not make a decent journalist, because we would have yelped, “Tucker Carlson? What, you couldn’t get George Rockwell on the phone?” And that would have been the end of the interview.
“The vice-presidential thing — look, here’s what this would’ve looked like if you really wanted to do this. You would’ve actually tried to go to the states that had problems; you would try to marshal alternative slates of electors, like they did in the election of 1876. And then you have to actually prosecute that case; you have to make an argument to the American people.”
The states didn’t have problems. That’s what the courts looked into. The time to argue was over, you over-mascara’d Ming the Merciless impersonator. Next!
“I think the entire post-2020 thing would have gone a lot better if there had actually been an effort to provide alternative slates of electors and to force us to have that debate. I think it would’ve been a much better thing for the country.”
The alternative slates of electors they did provide, and all of whom have now been indicted for forgery and conspiracy? Hint, JD Vance: That’s illegal.
What JD Vance wants is to keep barking about fairness and integrity like a seal with Tourette’s no matter how much fairness and integrity has already been expended on determining the election winner.
“Even under a circumstance where the alternative-electors thing works, and he’s president again, he would have served four years and retired and enjoyed his life and played golf. The idea that this sets off a sequence where Donald Trump becomes the dictator of America is completely preposterous. He was using the constitutional procedures.”
HA HA HA HA HA HA, oh, we have fun. If Donald Trump gets back in the White House, we’re not getting him back out until he can be wrapped in a flag and slid into the back of a hearse. His Day One agenda will mostly be getting the 22nd Amendment repealed.
“My counterargument to that is that what was reckless was the effort to try to take this very legitimate grievance over our most fundamental democratic act as a people, and completely suppress concerns about it.”
Trump was the main source of all those concerns! If the 2020 GOP candidate is Mitt Romney, these grievances are not getting an airing. More importantly, you’re not doing this interview.
“I think people really, really underrate the sense to which there is palpable and actionable frustration, and I’m always surprised that their assumption appears to be that Trump is the worst, rather than the best, expression of that frustration.”
He’s actually the source of that frustration. If he wasn’t a pathological narcissist, if he could accept that he lost an election, we wouldn’t be in this mess. This is like saying that a raging wildfire is the best expression of a match.
Anyway, fuck JD Vance into the sun forever.
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"When fascism comes to America, it will have a degree from Harvard"
He wants to be the VP to a guy that tried to get his last VP killed.
*blinks*
Leopard meet face.