Jill Biden's Christmas Display Doesn't Even Have Skulls Or Pre-Recorded Screaming, Feliz Navifuckingwhatever
Worst hellhouse ever.
What part about ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, all the children were screaming BLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRKKKKKHHKKH MOMMY I WANT TO GO HOME!!11!!!!! does First Lady Jill Biden not understand?
Today the White House debuted all its decorations for Christmas, or as the liberals call it, “Holiday,” or “Let's Do Late Term Abortions To The Baby Jesus.”
The White House explains that this year’s decorations are “designed to capture the pure, unfiltered delight and imagination of childhood,” which suggests there isn’t even a room with a trap door where Krampus kidnaps children and removes them to Eastern Europe.
Speaking of Eastern Europe, you’ll be yearning for Melania Trump’s severe Transylvanian Christmas hellhouses of old — for which you showed no gratitude at the time — when you learn that the theme for this year is “Magic, Wonder and Joy,” as opposed to “Concrete, Skulls and Pre-Recorded Screaming.”
It is a time for our senses to awaken—for each of us to smell the aroma of favorite family recipes, to hear the warmth of a dear friend’s voice, to see the glow of lights and decorations, to taste the sweetness of candies and treats, and to feel the quiet stillness and strength of faith.
Well isn’t that just fucking wholesome.
Look at these pictures, and we guess you should probably put on “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” instead of Carmina Burana HOW IS THIS EVEN CHRISTMASSY?
If you want to see more, go here.
The White House says there are 14,975 feet of ribbon, over 33,892 ornaments, and more than 22,100 bells in the festive display. Fully 98 trees. Over 142,000 lights. Gingerbread house just full of sugar.
Oh look, reindeer flying through the foyer with their aerodynamic hooves:
At press time, former First Lady Melania Trump was putting the finishing touches on the RIGGED AND STOLLEN alternate reality Christmas display with the satanic Jack-in-the-boxes and the live snakes and so forth. But you can’t see it, because you’re a sick communist who won’t even admit that Mar-a-Lago is worth a billion dollars.
Joyeux Fucking Noël, we guess.
OPEN THREAD!
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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I love these so much I can't even stand it. But I'm such a grandma. I'm WAY more into the girls' fairy gardens than they are.
I almost forgot… happy start of Hanukkah!
Also, I always have to look up how to spell Hanukah/Hanukkah/Chanukkah/Chanukah. You’d think with so many options I might get one by accident, but no, I’m terrible at spelling.