Until not long ago, we were ride-or-die with Joe. And we still are! It’s just … lately, the second part of that equation is seeming closer than the first. We will crawl over wet, hot garbage to vote for Joe’s mummified corpse, of course.
But. There is a case to be made that Joe Biden should step aside and put the presidency in the hands of a certain young, hot, hard-assed lady prosecutor who’s not afraid to beat up bullies and do what needs to be done. The Office of the Presidency has been handed a train-car of dynamite, and now is not the time to use a rusty spoon. This Supreme Court disaster can be fixed before it’s too late, but the crocodile with the clock in its colon is swimming the lagoon. And this race needs a shot in the ass.
(We do not think Joe Biden should actually resign the presidency, as President Kamala without a non-Mike Johnson vice president would be tempting the wrongbad people in wrongbad ways.) This is our November ticket and it’s probably too late to change it. But talks need to be had about succession planning, and how it might look.
And SOON SOON, because catastrophe is striking right now. We need to fix the corrupt Supreme Court, FUCKING YESTERDAY. What will happen to the votes for a certain pony soldier and his brain worm once those dog-a-cue pics get around? (Warning, link contains RFK Jr. and a bbq’d dog).
Biden is not Benjamin Buttoning. Sure, he’s spry and alert for 81, eating ice cream and riding bikes and giving speeches, but in the recent words of Nancy Pelosi, “I think it’s a legitimate question to say, is this an episode or is this a condition?” Yeah, it’s called old age, the human condition. The reality is there will only be more brain fog moments. Better for him to step down now than before there’s a bigger crisis. He can advise, he can still hit the trail and bring his Uncle Joe energy, give his Uncle Joe hugs and his Uncle Joe money and guidance.
Wanting Uncle Joe to step back is not undermining Joe! They are on the same team, and Joe needn’t go anywhere, at least until Trump puts him in Gitmo.
Trump has PROMISED TO EXECUTE HIS ENEMIES, for shit’s sake, and Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will be first in line for the barge. Are they going to be all like, “well, the Supreme Court said it was okay for Trump to do this, so we gotta respect that!” We have seen this power grab play out, in ‘30s Germany, Italy, Spain, Hungary, Gyyyyyna in the ‘50s. You get taught history in school to learn exactly this from it, FFS! Wake up, wokesters!
Kamala Harris is not just electable, but more electable. Polls since the debate find that 2 percent of voters are more likely to go for her. Which is both not a lot, and also enough to win. Cynical Cynthias say that this country would never elect a woman, but Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by 2.9 million, even with the musky taint of Bill’s baggage. Harris’s baggage fits in a designer coin purse.
The worst she’s got is maybe she was a mean boss, and she dated the first Black mayor of San Francisco Willie Brown, while he was not yet officially divorced, but separated for more than 10 years from his wife. In 1994 Brown appointed her to the state Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and later to the California Medical Assistance Commission, and in 2004 she was duly elected as the DA of San Francisco, after dazzling all the city’s swells with her beauty and poise. Compared with Trump’s porn-star peening scandals, an office romance looks positively quaint. No foreign ties, no laptops or emails, no more having to hear about Hunter. Just a boyfriend and a French pan. Let people bitch.
Oh right, and then she was California state attorney general. And then she was a US senator, having brought “sobriety and not being a lunatic like the other lady” to her own debate.
Oh oh oh! Or remember this one? Remember when she beat Poor Mike Pence with a sledgehammer?
Mister Vice President, I’m speaking.
Of course the Right will call her a freak and a dirty-ass ho, but they were going to anyway no matter what she’d ever done. Let the Right pull their racism and sexism right out from under the bushel and let it shine! Show us your monkey-dances on TikTok, Mississippi fraternities! Dance them around! Say all the nasty words, say them out loud!
The only person who can make the decision to step back is now-King Biden himself, of course, and word on the street is that he’s meeting today with Democratic governors and congressional leaders, and is gonna get pressed. Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-Texas) and former Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio) have already endorsed the idea of his stepping down publicly, along with assorted pundits and newspaper editorial boards.
*Again, he should not resign, this is our ticket. But there needs to be a plan.*
Scorch my ass in the comments if you want!
A few more things.
1. I love all you guys.
2. I personally think Joe Biden has a better shot at winning this.
3. Kamala Harris can also win this, but she has a different set of advantages and weaknesses that Biden does. It's more important how the handover from Biden -> Harris happens than either candidate is.
4. No other Democrat has a reasonable shot at winning this.
5. I know a lot of people are panicking right now even over having this discussion, but discussing options in good faith isn't a bad thing. We're not the cultists here and Joe Biden isn't the second coming of Jesus and George Washington put together and we all know it.
No. All wrong. Biden gets back in and does two years and a day, quits, and opens a path for Harris to do ten years after stomping whatever insane trash the Republicans run in two cycles, while Trump rots in prison until his brain is oatmeal. NEVER leave money on the table.