Liquidating Rudy Giuliani Begs Court To Let Him Keep Lauren Bacall's Mercedes
Poor little rich Rudy sure has a lot of crap!
Let us check in again on the life and times of flatulent butt-dialer Rudy Giuliani, and his latest attempts to weasel his way out of the $148 million judgment he owes to the two Georgia election workers whose lives he ruined with his ridiculous racist-dogwhistle lies!
LIKE SO!
Now comes his chimp-faced son Andrew to the Southern District of New York, claiming that four World Series rings listed in the bankruptcy case actually are his property, because daddy Roodles gave them to him in 2018. They were a GIFT! Chimpandrew insists, even though after he gifted them Rudy decided he wanted to wear one of the rings and borrowed it back. And then wanted to wear a different one, and borrowed that one too. Sounds exactly like the kind of non-gift-giving a serial-adulterer thrice-times-divorced dad would do! But the fact that Rudy himself listed the rings as his own (very undervalued) assets in a court filing would seem to strongly imply that Rudy had never considered them Andrew’s. Still, Judge Lewis Liman has granted Andrew permission to intervene and try to stake his claim. Can’t wait!
Rudy also doesn’t want the court to sell his wristwatches, or his 1980 Mercedes SL500 that used to belong to Lauren Bacall, at least until after the DC Circuit rules on the appeal he just filed down there, because they are “collectable.”
Rudy said he does not have a driver’s license, which is why he spent an exorbitant amount on car service. But the car “makes me feel like I'm Humphrey Bogart,” he told the court back in April. Won’t someone think of the simple and pure love between a man and a car that used to belong to a sexy lady who, were she still alive, would not spit on him if he were on fire?
And Rudy really, really does not want plaintiffs Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman to make him sue Donald Trump for that $2 million in legal fees that Trump owes him, for all that work as the lead on his team of “Star Wars cantina” weirdo lawyers trying to overturn the 2020 election.
Plaintiffs will or may use this assignment for an improper, political (or, at least, collateral) purpose, creating the confusing, and inaccurate, appearance that Defendant is now somehow suing candidate Trump, thereby generating an accompanying, and unnecessary, media frenzy.
A frenzy! Last year CNN reported that Roodles and his lawyer had flown down to Mar-a-Lago to grovel at Trump’s feet, begging to be paid. Instead, Trump’s PAC paid one of the vendors Rudy owed money to, and Trump offered to drop by some fundraisers to help out his pal. But still wouldn’t pay him! Sounds like yet another completely self-induced Donald Trump problem that he could’ve avoided by just, like, paying his bills within a year or two of when they were due.
As our Liz points out over at Above The Law, Jack Smith’s January 6 filing in DC had the tidbit that Trump apparently believed that Rudy’s lawyering was a real-life “works on contingency, no money down,” instead of a “works on contingency?! No! Money down!”
[White House lawyer Eric Herschmann] repeatedly gave the defendant [Trump] his honest assessment that [Giuliani] could not mount successful legal challenges to the election. For instance, when the defendant told that he was going to put [Giuliani] in charge of the Campaign’s legal efforts but pay him only if he succeeded, [Herschmann] told the defendant he would never have to pay [Giuliani] anything; in response, the defendant laughed and said, “we’ll see.”
Now Rudy is twice-disbarred (in DC and NY), indicted in Georgia and Arizona, and claims he can’t even buy his own ceiling paint. Whatever dynamic exists between those two sure is pathetic.
In other Rudy miseries, he was forced to de-list his New York condo, because he was trying to sell it at a steep discount. He tried to get a homestead exemption for his condo in Florida, even though he’s previously claimed he doesn’t live there. It’s that old Roodles-a-roo! He lives in New York, no, Florida, maybe New Hampshire? He wants to file for bankruptcy, wait, no he doesn’t! Appeal, scream, rant, ooze!
Also, his daughter Caroline wrote a scathing indictment of him for this month’s “Vanity Fair,” titled “Trump Took My Dad From Me. Please Don’t Let Him Take Our Country Too.”
I’ll never forget the night my dad told me he was considering becoming Trump’s lawyer. I was with him at the Grand Havana Room, a cigar bar at the top of 666 Fifth Avenue, an address too fitting given the unholy alliance my father was about to enter into.
Surrounded by thick smoke and powerful men, I ugly-cried for a few minutes, then spent the next three hours making my vehement case to my father that he not go down this morally perilous path.
Girl, you tried.
Then there’s how Rudy was at that Trump rally in Uniondale, New York, ranting and screaming about how he “knows” that “votes were counted falsely” in the last election, and that Joe Biden should be hung (he meant hanged), for getting “$21 million from Red China,” whatever that was supposed to mean.
And then we found out Trump is paying $3 per copy to Red China for printing that “God Bless the U.S.A.” licensed Bible he’s selling for $59.99 each.
It’s always projection with these guys! Well, best of luck, Rudy! Haha, just kidding.
[Andrew H. Giuliani Memorandum / Rudolph Giuliani Memorandum]
Rudy says that owning the car makes him feel like Humphrey Bogart? Doesn't he know he's far more like the Peter Lorre character in Casablanca? (Yes, I know, that's Bergman, not Bacall)
"You despise me, don't you Rick?"
"I suppose I would if I ever gave you any thought."
Poor Rudy. He'll always have Parnas.
I am sick to death of these motherfuckers getting away with every crime in the book but screaming how unfairly they're being treated.