Old Man Says He's Cold, Has Some Newspaper Clippings To Show You

Brrrrrr.

After Donald Trump’s third day of being tried criminally for some of his millions of crimes against America, humanity and God, he did that thing on Thursday where he waddles out of the courtroom to show us he’s still got gas in the tank for some good old bitching.

Acyn from Media Matters clipped all this hilarious shit.

Let us set this up. Trump is holding a large stack papers, because as we know, he is the oldest person who ever lived, and the saddest, and the weakest of spirit, and he has to have a blonde lady follow him around and manually print things out from the internet that make him feel better. This is real. She has a name. It’s Natalie Harp, and she used to work for funnybones right-wing entertainment network One America News.

So Trump has this gigantic stack of papers that he’s just flipping through, of the least respected fucking idiots on the planet, saying there’s no case against him. Of course he calls them “legal experts,” because he’s pathetic.

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He just keeps flipping through the papers. Nobody can see the papers. He semi-babbles words from them. “Here’s another one! The case is a ridiculous Trump indictment. It’s missing fraud, there’s no fraud! All of these stories are stories of how, and these are done by the experts, and editorials, Bragg falsified business record, and uh, he falsifies them, he’s the one! He’s the fraud. Take a look at all of these are stories, you see them here.” Etc.

Here’s 30 more seconds of flipping papers, papers printed out for him by the blonde lady who follows him around with a damn printer in a Radio Flyer Wagon, printing out things to make this record-breakingly old Boomer and his tiny hands feel better.

“The whopping outrage of Trump’s indictment, it’s a whopping outrage and it is an outrage, everybody’s outraged by it!” On the other hand? “You have murders going on right outside, in New York.” He points like they are literally just outside the door.

Here’s 24 more seconds of the same fuckin’ thing. “Jonathan Turley, Gregg Jarrett, Andrew McCarthy!” Those are the bootlicking cucks he cites as authorities.

Flip flip flip flip flip.

Don’t you want to read every headline in Trump’s stack of papers? “You know the whole world is watching this SCAM!” (And laughing and laughing and rooting against him.) He mentions at the beginning of this one that “the Rolling Stone” doesn’t even like Bragg’s chances!

We mentioned at the top that Trump, the oldest person in the world, who has these newspaper clippings, is also cold. This is the clip where he explains that it’s cold in the courtroom and he is cold.

And what’s the result of all this, he asks? This stack of papers, which represents the world’s opinion that this is a big hoax.

Maybe somebody could knit him some teeny tiny mittens for his old crumpled paws, but try to make them so he can still flip through his printouts.

Acyn got a couple more clips of Trump bitching and moaning and shivering and whining, but we don’t care.

Welcome to your next day of hell, Donald.

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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