This Press Release From the CFPB Union Is Just ... *Chef's Kiss*
CFPB Union members welcome our newest colleagues and look forward to the smell of Axe Body Spray in our elevators.
It’s been a rough ass three weeks, and we could all use some levity. To that point, I bring you an absolutely hilarious and delightful press release from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s union, all about a visit they received from the incels of DOGE.
The entire thing straight up disappeared from the site not long after it was published — coincidentally right around the same time that the wee DOGE employees came back a second time and started screwing with everything again.
So let’s just read it all in full, shall we?
On the evening of February 6, three minions of professional Twitter poster and Jeffrey Epstein confidant Elon Musk appeared in the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s (CFPB) internal staff directory.
The three underlings are Chris Young, a lobbyist for Big Pharma and past field organizer for former Gov. Bobby Jindal, and Elon fanboys Nikhil Rajpal and Gavin Kliger. Rajpal led a libertarian students group at public land-grant university UC Berkeley, and worked at auto-lender Tesla and wannabe-payment-processor Twitter. Kliger interned at Twitter, claims he owns a Tesla, and graduated from UC Berkeley in 2020. When he's not stealing Americans' private information with DOGE, Kliger enjoys writing lengthy essays defending rapists and retweeting white supremacists. Kliger's lawyer daddy works at Experian which is the same company CFPB sued in January for covering up errors on credit reports with sham investigations. While alleged coder Kliger made between zero to three git commits in the last year, workers at the CFPB returned $1.3 billion to scammed Americans in that time.
The unelected Musk recently announced plans for a new payments platform run jointly by Visa and “X” (formerly Twitter). Now, he’s moved his power grab to the CFPB, in a clear attempt to attack union workers and defang the only agency that checks the greed of payment providers, as well as auto lenders like Tesla.
CFPB Union members welcome our newest colleagues and look forward to the smell of Axe Body Spray in our elevators. While Acting Director Bessent allows Musk's operatives to bypass cybersecurity policies and wreak havoc with their amateur code skills inside CFPB's once-secure systems, CFPB Union members fight to protect our jobs so we can continue protecting Americans from scammers with conflicts of interest like Musk.
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The National Treasury Employees Union organizes federal employees to work together to ensure that every federal employee is treated with dignity and respect. CFPB Union NTEU Chapter 335 was chartered to represent employees at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB). CFPB workers have returned over $20 billion to millions of American consumers who've been preyed upon by greedy hucksters like Musk.
CFPB Union NTEU 335
10/10 no notes.
But, worse still, the entire website for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau — which has so far saved Americans $20 billion, and not by cutting off services anyone actually needs — is now offline. Surely there is nothing sketchy about that! Surely there is no reason to think that Musk and Trump want the CFPB gone so that they or their friends can have an easier time defrauding Americans. And they’re being cheered on by all kinds of idiots on Xitter who trust them pretty much exclusively because they are incredibly racist.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
I've heard of "fuck it--I'm going to get fired anyway, so I'm going out with a bang," but Jesus...
And well done!
The Democrats should be ready to sue them at every movement and hold the dissolution of the incel cabal as the bargaining point for government funding, which is coming due.