Trump Met These Hot Pilots And They Had Tears In Their Eyes And They Said Sir, It's Aliens

The Truth Is Out There ... just don't expect to get it from Trump.

‘I’m telling you, that cow had my name on it!’ Image by Friend of Wonkette Pixelkitties, by permission.

Donald Trump sat down for an interview with YouTuber, “influencer,” and MMA fighter guy Logan Paul the other day, to appeal to the youngs. After discussing his RIGGED AND STOLLEN felony trial, his many grievances, and entirely too much about pro wrestling (he acknowledged he’s never been in a fistfight but he knows Mike Tyson, a great guy), the interview got around to the really important stuff that can only be asked outside the lamestream media. When he was president, what did Trump learn about the government’s secret files on UFOs, or if you prefer current parlance, unidentified aerial (or anomalous) phenomena (UAPs)?

Dear readers, I lean well to the Dana Scully side on the matter of UFOs/UAPs. But I’ve seen those blurry what-the-hell-is-that? videos from US Navy fighter jets and I’m just as curious as anyone. Make me president and I’ll get you the straight dope, even if it’s what the Pentagon said in March of this year: Sorry, there’s

“no evidence that any U.S. government investigation, academic-sponsored research, or official review panel has confirmed that any sighting of a UAP represented extraterrestrial technology.”

I will let you know, unless of course I see that secret film that Bill Hicks used to joke that every new president is shown, in a room where the dozen industrialists who run the world share footage of the JFK assassination, but filmed from an angle that nobody has ever seen, remind them who’s boss.

But assuming Trump hasn’t been given that warning — because honestly would it even faze him? — he didn’t offer the YouCuber anything new on the matter, although it was at least good for another “Sir” story. Here’s a video with subtitles, and thank Crom for Al Gore’s Internet.

The really impressive thing here is that if Trump has seen any official evidence that occupants of interplanetary craft have been visiting, he was less impressed by that than by the very buff, very manly fighter pilots he says told him what they had seen. Nothing he says about UAPs has anything like this level of detail:

“I’ve met with pilots that look just like you, actually; OK, they have more of a crew cut. […] But these are perfect people, and they’re not conspiratorial, they’re not crazy. And they tell me stories that they've seen things that you wouldn't believe.”

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion? C-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate? Don’t get your hopes up, unless those hopes are for the most homoerotic volleyball game ever filmed, because Trump went on, like, a LOT, about them hot pilots:

“I've met with pilots like beautiful Tom Cruise, but taller. Handsome, perfect people.

“‘Sir, there was something there that was round in form and going like four times faster than my super jet fighter plane.’ And I look at these guys, and, they really mean it.”

Sirs, Madams, and Doubters of the gender binary, we were going to mock Trump’s goofy version of fighter pilot talk — “my super jet fighter plane” — but coming from Trump, that may be as close to a verbatim quote as you’ll get. You see, at least one of the famous videos was taken from a Navy F/A-18F Super Hornet operating from the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz.

Trump’s story took us briefly back to 2017, when we wrote about a $22 million Pentagon program to investigate unidentified aerial phenomena that was first revealed by the New York Times. The story included video of the 2004 UAP encounter 100 miles off San Diego, and a sidebar story interviewing the pilot, former Navy Commander David Fravor, who also testified to Congress last year about the incident.

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We're Not Saying Harry Reid Is A Space Alien, But...

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Fravor told the Times that he and a second F/A-18 on a routine training flight were directed to check out a strange radar contact. He didn’t see anything at the altitude he’d been directed to, but far below, about 50 feet above the ocean surface, he saw an oval-shaped aircraft, about 40 feet long.

When Fravor descended to get a better look, the object started gaining altitude, appearing to approach him. But when Fravor turned to approach it head on, it broke off:

“It accelerated like nothing I’ve ever seen,” he said in the interview. He was, he said, “pretty weirded out.”

Fravor said there was no follow-up investigation that he knew of, and that everyone aboard the Nimitz razzed him, his weapons system officer, and the other jet’s crew. He told the Times he recalled what he said when another pilot asked him what he’d seen, and as a lowly former private pilot and lifelong aviation nerd, I love his answer:

“I have no idea what I saw. […] It had no [exhaust] plumes, wings or rotors and outran our F-18s.”

But, he added, “I want to fly one.”

Hell, what pilot wouldn’t? That’s way more real than any “Sir” story, to which we now return.

Trump rambled on more, but suggested he’s no Fox Mulder:

“Am I a believer? No, I probably, I can’t say I am.

“But I have met with people that are serious people that say there’s some really strange things that they see flying around out there.”

Trump then veered into a discussion of that popular tourist attraction in Nevada “where they go to look at the aliens, where they think the aliens are landing,” which I assumed means Area 51, or maybe “Roswell,” as suggested by Paul’s co-host Mike Majlak. That’s New Mexico, but it’s within Sharpie distance on a map.

Paul tried to guide Trump back to the big question: As president, “don’t you have access to that information?” But Trump said nothing about any documents or physical evidence he might have seen or stashed under the toilet chandelier at Mar-a-Lago. Instead, he blathered again “people who are very smart and very solid” who say they

“believe there was something out there and, you know, it makes sense that there could be. I’ve never been convinced, even despite that, you know. I just, for some reason, it’s not my thing, but a lot of people believe that it’s true. A lot of very good, solid people believe it’s true.”

Trump segued into a very funny joke about how he’s more concerned about illegal aliens coming through the border, and how maybe the other kind “might be illegal, but we don’t want to test them.”

Majlak interjected that maybe government agencies “are hiding” the truth from Trump, to which he readily assented. “I guess so. There is a Deep State,” he casually agreed, since not even presidents are allowed to know everything. (There’s a lot of weird present tense in the interview, as if Trump were still in office.)

Barring any Deep State conspiracy that withheld from Trump the real truth about extraterrestrial or interdimensional visitors, it seems like Trump really does know less about UFOs than the average Art Bell fan, circa 1995.

If Donald Trump ever received a super-classified briefing at Area 51 where he was shown crashed UFOs or alien technology, there’d simply be no way in hell that he wouldn’t blab all about it, probably five minutes after being reminded it’s a far bigger secret than US nuclear strategy. “And you know what? There’s also this JFK tape they show you…”

Keep watching the skies — for storms caused by climate change, a very real phenomenon Trump also doesn’t believe exists, even though we know he’s been shown that evidence.

[Daily Beast / NPR / NYT (2017) / House Oversight Committee]

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