Trump Picks Unlikeable Pile Of Human Butthair As Running Mate, Excellent Choice!
Trump Picks Unlikeable Pile Of Human Butthair As Running Mate, Excellent Choice!
CALLED IT WEEKS AGO.
Reporting live from an undisclosed (bar in) Milwaukee, Donald Trump has just announced his running mate. It is this guy:
Because Wonkette is on the vanguard of journalism, we happen to have written in the very recent past why this would be a really dumb move on Trump’s part.
An excerpt:
JD Vance is so fucking gross and everybody hates him and normal people find him extremely off-putting.
This is the man who Mitt Romney says he doesn’t think he could could respect anyone less than.
And hey, remember the 2022 midterms, when Vance and his butthair body won his Senate seat in Ohio? The same year, Ohio Republican Governor Mike DeWine was running for re-election. He won 62.8 percent to 37.2.
Vance only beat Tim Ryan 53.3 percent to 46.7 percent.
That means almost 10 points worth of Ohio Republican voters were like fuuuuuuck that guy.
So that is a reason we hope Trump picks him, because he is gross and everybody hates him and he would be a drag on the ticket.
Also, back before JD Vance opportunistically changed his mind and decided he was super-gay for Trump, he USED to think Trump was the dogshit on the bottom of Hitler’s shoe. That’d be fun for Democrats to make commercials out of clips of JD Vance saying things like that!
So that would be another reason it’d be cool if Axios was right and Trump picked El Butthair-io as his running mate.
LONG LIVE EL BUTTHAIR-IO.
The end, please donate to our liquor fund.
Evan has a new side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
Is Vance the actor who played Pvt Leonard Lawrence?
"pile of human butthair"
when i wince, we know it's working.