Trump So Excited To Get Rid Of Elections, Like Real Dictator!
'We’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to have to vote.'
Adjudicated rapist, adulterer, fraudster, 34-time-convicted felon, serial adulterer and former President Donald J. Trump has never been shy about his autocratic aspirations. (You know, in case anybody missed that whole coup he tried to do.)
And Friday night at the Turning Point USA Believers’ Summit in West Palm Beach, he kicked it up a notch, preaching ending voting to a choir of attendees who’d gathered to “ignite a spark of hope and passion” … “to see our nation experience a God-breathed transformation.”
At the end of an hour’s ramblings, he pleaded to the crowd:
Christians, get out and vote. Just this time. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what? It’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine, you won’t have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians. I love you Christians. I’m a Christian! I love you, get out, you gotta get out and vote. In four years you don’t haveta vote again, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not gonna hafta vote.
Some people think he said “I’m NOT Christian,” in that way of argleblarghing his words that he has. You be the judge!
And wow, is he SO excited for the choose-your-own-adventure for authoritarians that the Supreme Court just gave him, with a little map for how to coup. Hint, just do everything very officially!
What a spree it could be for him and his Heritage Foundation friends! Firing army generals and replacing them with NASCAR drivers and football coaches! Televised military tribunals for Liz Cheney! Political rivals assassinated by Seal Team 6? Why not! He could have one of each!
And who would stop him? JD Vance? Canada? Not the judiciary! Daryl Dongerson still hasn’t even gotten sentenced for his 34 felonies from two elections ago! (Hurry up, September!)
Anyway, strangely, or maybe not, media response to the presumptive Republican nominee’s latest vow to Make America Germany in 1933 Again was tepid. Mediaite called it a “cryptic message.” (Is it?) The New York Times’s first headline focused on Trump’s trash talk (though they followed up on Saturday afternoon with a story).
“At the Believers Summit in Florida, former President Trump honed his attacks on Vice President Kamala Harris and called her a ‘bum.’” STOP THE PRESSES!
ABC News reported on his speech, but didn’t mention his ominous pronouncement about voting at all, focusing instead on how Trump moaned how it was so hard to pronounce KURH-MUAAHH-LUH, his bizarre claim that she doesn’t like Jewish people, and how Trump didn’t mention JD Vance at all, ha ha. It’s like Trump’s authoritarian side hobby is just some cute quirk of his, like Bill Clinton playing the saxophone.
But never fear, somebody was paying attention on a Friday night, and that was Mom-ala, here with the cut your bullshit you fucking weirdo juice that Democrats have been so parched for. Her campaign spokesperson James Singer posted a statement to Twitter:
Donald Trump has previously said if he didn't win there would be "bloodbath" and claimed, "I'm not sure that you'll ever have another election in this country."
He has called for the "termination" of our Constitution and bragged "a lot of people like" his calls to be a "dictator on day one."
"You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what - it will be fixed, it will be fine. You won't have to vote anymore."
Statement from Harris for President Spokesperson James Singer on Trump's vow to end democracy:
"When Vice President Harris says this election is about freedom she means it. Our democracy is under assault by criminal Donald Trump: After the last election Trump lost, he sent a mob to overturn the results. This campaign, he has promised violence if he loses, the end of our elections if he wins, and the termination of the Constitution to empower him to be a dictator to enact his dangerous Project 2025 agenda on America.
Donald Trump wants to take America backward, to a politics of hate, chaos, and fear - this November America will unite around Vice President Kamala Harris to stop him."
Well, bam. Singer also zinged that Trump “generally sounded like someone you wouldn’t want to sit near at a restaurant – let alone be President of the United States,” SO true.
Also not napping, Cardi B.
Whistle blowing a dictatorship? Why yes, it sure is!
The Washington Post covered his speech, but focused on the “backlash” to it, and how Trump is just so ambiguous all the time, even though Trump’s spokesman doesn’t actually deny that’s what he meant. Said Steven Cheung, spokesperson for the campaign, he “was talking about uniting this country and bringing prosperity to every American, as opposed to the divisive political environment that has sowed so much division and even resulted in an assassination attempt.”
Trump is bringing people together, so they will all have something in common! They can all bond over never voting again. It will unify both sides!
Hooray!
Vote like your lives depend on it in November.
As heard in a small-town diner in your (or an adjacent) state, up in the north rural part:
"Who wants to have to do things many times?! Those woke communists in the DMV make me come back to renew my license every four years, but why? I could be using that time to watch 'Real Hoarders of Gypsum County.' That's why I'm a Trump voter, he's looking out for me and the four valuable spare hours that I get to spend above ground from my non-unionized coal digging job. Freedom!"
Ten years of people telling me I didn't hear this guy say what I just heard him say, and always it turns out that I understood him just fine.