Tucker Carlson Tells Rally 'Daddy' Trump Will Spank America For Being 'Bad Little Girl'
Check Tucker's browser history please.
It’s no longer terribly surprising when Donald Trump says completely weird, inappropriate things in public, even when they’re surprisingly terrible things. It’s also not surprising that his supporters are willing to overlook his habitual admiration for Hitler and other dictators. He’s quirky, no big deal.
But at a Trump rally hosted by Turning Point USA rally in Duluth, Georgia, Wednesday, former Fox News creep Tucker Carlson managed to out-weird the Great Man himself. In a disturbing metaphor, Carlson compared Trump to a “Dad” who needed to severely and painfully discipline a rebellious underaged girl by giving her a “vigorous spanking” because she was such a naughty “bad little girl,” VOMIT.
Worse, the crowd loved it and chanted “DADDY’S HOME!” when Trump took the stage, because they’re all a bunch of weirdos who want to see their enemies punished and humiliated. Also, aren’t these the people who are freaked out about George Soros and Hillary Clinton’s nonexistent child trafficking ring? Weird fantasies about spanking little girls is fine though, as long as it’s Daddy.
We don’t kink shame, but for fuckssake, keep the roleplay in the bedroom, not in the spotlight of a presidential campaign where nobody can say the safeword and make it stop.
Here, for those of you who may feel you need chastisement, is the weird freaky video (if you click “play” that’s consent, OK?)
In the video, Carlson railed disjointedly about how Kamala Harris is completely incompetent, and claimed that if she wins the 2024 election, well that is automatically a crime because she has no right to “lecture” you, and “It’s too much! We can’t allow that! It’s an offense against the truth, against reality, and against Justice itself!”
Then it was time for the weird daddy stuff, where he said when Trump returns to office, all the people who have ruined America will get their comeuppance, because he’s the daddy and we need to be set straight. Nothing fascist about saying the Great Leader is the stern national parent, heavens no!
The Left’s misbehavior mustn’t be tolerated a moment longer, because “if you allow it, you will encourage more of it. If you allow people to get away with things that are completely over the top and outrageous …” Here we thought maybe he was talking about letting people try to overturn an election without facing legal accountability, but no, he was talking about all us troublemaking children in the USA:
“If you allow your 2-year-old to smear the contents of his diapers on the wall of your living room and you do nothing about it, if you allow your 14-year-old to light a joint at the breakfast table, if you allow your hormone-addled 15-year-old daughter to slam the door of her bedroom and give you the finger, you’re gonna get more of it and those kids are going to wind up in rehab!
“It’s not good for you and it’s not good for them. No, there has to be a point at which Dad comes home.” (enthusiastic applause)
And then, the spankings will begin, and we do wish to remind you again that this is not from a sleazy porn fantasy, it is Serious Political Thought, in which Trump is like both Dad and the Old Testament version of the Almighty chastising his wayward children.
“Yeah, that's right! Dad comes home. And he's pissed! Dad is pissed! He’s not vengeful. He loves his children, disobedient as they may be, he loves them because they’re his children. They live in his house. But he’s very disappointed in their behavior and he’s going to have to let them know.
“‘Get to your room right now and think about what you did!’ And when Dad gets home, you know what he says?
“You’ve been a bad girl. You’ve been a bad little girl and you’re getting a vigorous spanking right now. And no, it’s not going to hurt me more than it hurts you. No, it’s not. I’m not going to lie. This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me. And you earned this. You’re getting a vigorous spanking because you’ve been a bad girl.”
Just a very normal, not at all creepy explanation of how a loving father should correct the behavior of a “hormone-addled 15-year-old daughter” who is also America. If it helps, Carlson insisted Daddy wouldn’t spank his underaged daughter in a spirit of hate or vengeance, because it’s simply justice and it must be done, OK?
If you think anything he said sounds skeevy, that just proves you’re the degenerate. We simply need to stop the “party of weak men and unhappy women” from destroying America. Nothing against Harris or Tim Walz or even Pete Buttigieg (hey, why him we wonder), these people are all interchangeable, “and they need to have limits set for them.”
Oh, it gets worse. When Trump came to the stage, the crowd shouted “Daddy’s Home” and “Daddy Don,” and that too is just about as wholesome and normal as it gets.
For the sake of due diligence, we skim-watched Carlson’s full 20-minute introduction, especially the minutes leading up to this clip, to see what specific “crimes” Carlson said we had all committed. Guess what! It took a very dark, antisemitic turn! This is also not terribly new for Carlson, but with all the weirdly pervy stuff, it seems to have been overlooked by virtually all the outlets that reported on the spanking stuff.
At first it seemed like the same Culture Wars/White Grievance shtick that Carlson has always pushed, although he framed it as a wonderful thing that these days, rightwing Trump supporters, the only true Americans, have shut themselves into a bubble, because it’s the real reality, and everyone in media and politics and nonTrump America is denying reality.
But along the way, he insisted that “almost every single person” on MSNBC has “a personal life so grotesquely weird [that] if you knew the details, you’d call for their arrest.” (We knew that Rachel Maddow does catch-and-release fly fishing and Chris Hayes loves his e-bike, but wow!) Carlson explained that such horrible freaks can’t be allowed to define the terms of the national conversation, no way.
He also was mad about immigration and called it the greatest crime in US history, then explained that Real America is a very nice, tolerant place that, because it’s so decent and tolerant, has “put up with this crap for too long” from “people who never built anything in their lives” who tear down statues and “spit on the graves of your ancestors, and (((who on earth could he be talking about)))?
It’s unjust, he said, for the “majority” to “reward the most parasitic, useless, violent, nasty, aggressive people in your country. You can’t make them the richest. It’s just wrong!”
Gosh, he never said the bad guys had hooked noses, so maybe it wasn’t an antisemitic dogwhistle. But then, Carlson named only example those America-destroying parasites who actually run the country instead of its hardworking honest decent smartest talented majority: Larry Fink, the CEO of Blackrock. He happened to be the one usurper whose name came to Carlson out of the blue.
So yeah, the name of a Jewish investment banker just happened to immediately precede the clip above, right before “Kamala Harris.”
We appear to be the only source calling attention to it, because the weird kinky pedo overtones certainly are more sensational. But it’s right there, 12 minutes into the full video.
All perfectly normal and not Nazi, you degenerates, how dare you say such a thing the end.
[Daily Beast / WaPo / Mediaite]
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DM'd Philip Bump at WaPo about the antisemitic dogwhistle content; He said he'd take a look. Will let you filthy fuckaducks know if he picks it up
There's never been a more Wonkette Wonkette story waiting to happen than this one.
I didn't even try to volunteer to write this thing. I didn't want to get shivved coming between Robyn & Dok or bludgeoned by a blunt Thornton paw to the head.
I tell you, working at this place gets dangerous when Tucker opens his mouth.