Uh Oh, The TSA Scanner Made You Gay! Tabs, Tues., April 15, 2025
Fly the friendly guys.
Good morning, here are tabs.
We are still all trying to process the full Nazi display that happened in the Oval Office yesterday, but one thing’s for sure, this is not the same country this morning that it was yesterday morning. Or is it?
Timothy Snyder. The whole thread, but this:
We reckon some people need to brush up on their history of exactly where Auschwitz and some of the other most horrific camps were. They weren’t in Berlin’s backyard. History is rhyming here, a little bit.
Oh did you hear the latest most horrific stories of Donald Trump’s Gestapo kidnapping innocent people off the street to disappear them? Well there was the one where ICE absolutely knew it had the wrong guy and one of the thug fuckmouth ICE guys was like “take him anyway,” so they did. And then there was the Palestinian student who was going for his citizenship interview. So they just kidnapped him there. Because that’s what Trump’s lawless psychotic fucking Gestapo does. [The City / CNN]
Read this one for a better historical understanding of what's happening here in the United States and how it can look very different to different people, and that’s by design. In authoritarian systems and dictatorships, life often continues to be more or less the same -- for some people. Until it isn't. Aziz Huq explains how America is witnessing the rise of a “dual state.” [Atlantic]
“This is why dictatorships fail. Anne Applebaum.” [Atlantic]
The person doing the shakedowns to law firms to get them to obey Donald Trump’s authority and give out free legal services is … Trump dumbfuck lawyer Boris Epshteyn? Um, OK, sorry to be mean, but every law firm that has caved to that shit now looks approximately 20 times more pathetic. Because that guy? He does it out of a steakhouse. Y’all. [Wall Street Journal]
Katy Perry went to space for 11 minutes, bad news, she opted to come back. She says she’s gonna write a song about it, so look forward to “I Went To Space And I Liked It,” a totally new song that will be just great. Other people went to space with her too, also came back. [LBC]
It was a Jeff Bezos thing, obviously. (One of the all-woman crew was his weird fiancée Lauren Sanchez.) He said it was one small step for women, one giant step for HAHAHA WHOOPS HE FELL DOWN.
Speaking of DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB videos, look at JD Vance breaking the college football trophy when he tried to pick it up, DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB, actin’ all nervous like he just saw a Haverty’s commercial and a sectional winked at him, get a grip, Captain Butthair, JFC.
At my Friday place, you might have missed this amidst all the fucking hell, but did you see Donald Trump issued a proclamation declaring April as National Child Abuse Prevention Month, and did you hear that his proclamation was a bunch of vile Nazi anti-trans horseshit? It was a good time for an update to my project where I’m making a list and checking it twice of every time a Christian pastor or youth leader or Christian school teacher is arrested for/accused of/convicted of/going to prison for sexually abusing children. Because you know who sexually abuses kids? Those people. Not drag performers, not trans people, not LGBTQ+ people. [The Moral High Ground]
It’s not just that Trump is beyond stupid when it comes to these tariffs, it’s also that he’s an unteachable dipshit whose brain is incapable of processing new information. Mona Charen discusses. [Bulwark]
Buncha crosswalks in Silicon Valley got hacked so instead of saying “walk” or “wait,” instead AI versions of Elon and overgrown Annie impersonator Mark Zuckerberg start whining at them — THROUGH THE WALK SIGN — about how lonely they are. Best hacking ever. We are sure Pam Bondi will immediately send the perpetrators to the Salvadoran gulag she is unwilling/unable to get all those totally innocent guys out of. [Gizmodo]
Have you watched President Ocasio-Cortez preach? Watch her preach.
Do TSA scanners make you gay? This Christian nationalist pastor says yes, and we agree that yes, they make you gay. Sorry, that’s just science, you go in the scanner, you come out gay, you go back in the scanner, you’re still gay, ha ha fuckers, it is permanent. [JoeMyGod]
Brodo di pollo con pastina. AKA the grownup Italian version of the Campbell’s Chicken ‘n’ Stars soup you had when you were a kid. This version is infused with parmigiano reggiano, it is just lovely. [New York Times]
OK that’s enough tabs, we missed a bunch we are sure, but we have to take the terribleness in manageable doses. More bad terribleness as it comes!
Also maybe some good news to report? Perhaps about HARVARD?
Guess we will find out!
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Even these baby goats would be more careful with national trophies. Also though they’d still try to eat them. Source attribution here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/the-boundless-energy-of-kids
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/2b65b272-210e-4e32-9595-e8c06a8aa885?utm_source=share
If you are a big, fancy lawyer at a big fancy law firm that just got strongarmed into giving free legal representation to fascists, you might not be inclined to give those cases your most zealous efforts. Also, you work for cowards.