Vivek Ramaswamy Stops Buying TV Ads, Because TV Is 'Idiotic,' For Dummies

He doesn't need TV, TV's a trick for losers. You're a loser, even asking about it!

With less than a month until the first actual primary voting starts, Republican presidential candidate and spaced oddity Vivek Ramaswamy hasn’t been running any TV ads lately in Iowa or New Hampshire or anywhere else, and he wants you to know that’s exactly what he wanted to do, dummy. It’s not that his campaign, polling well behind the other Republicans who hope Donald Trump is hit by a meteor, is running out of money. It’s that TV is old fashioned and stupid, and Vivek Ramaswamy is neither. He says.

On Xitter Wednesday, Ramaswamy Xwatted that he was simply too smart to be lured in by those sharp political consultants who just leech off gullible millionaires like him:

Presidential TV ad spending is idiotic, low-ROI [return on investment] & a trick that political consultants use to bamboozle candidates who suffer from low IQ.

We’re doing it differently. Spending $$ in a way that follows data…apparently a crazy idea in US politics.

Mark my words: Big surprise coming on Jan 15. Shock the world. [American flag emoji]

Wow, a big surprise on January 15! We bet it’ll be huge — he’s gonna sell NFTs, maybe? (Oh, it’s just the date of the Iowa caucuses.)

CBS News notes that Ramaswamy had in late November released a TV ad in Iowa and New Hampshire “featuring Ramaswamy's piano teacher,” part of an “eight-figure advertising buy,” so apparently until sometime in December Ramaswamy himself was an idiot who suffered from low IQ. Maybe he took some Alex Jones Trucker Speed to make himself smarter.

Ramaswamy also wasn’t above taking advantage of some free TV coverage, pairing the explanation of his brilliant move with a Fox News clip in which some Chud sitting in for Laura Ingraham claimed that “leftwing media” were “hyperventilating, frothing at the mouth at the prospect of Vivek’s demise,” accompanied by a chyron saying Ramaswamy was there to respond to “media rage over campaign cuts.” Somehow, Ramaswamy got through the clip without saying that the media are just jealous of how smart and handsome he is. He added that unlike other Republican candidates, he is a businessman, a completely new thing in politics.

Ramaswamy spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin explained that Ramaswamy voters are streamlined new-type people who don’t watch TV anyway, and that the amount of spending by the campaign isn’t changing, it’s just going to things that will make their little ratbrains make happy cooing noises:

“We are focused on bringing out the voters we've identified—best way to reach them is using addressable advertising, mail, text, live calls and doors to communicate with our voters on Vivek's vision for America. […] As you know, this isn't what most campaigns look like. We have intentionally structured this way so that we have [the] ability to be nimble and hyper targeted in our ad spending."

And no one at all who heard that rolled their eyes while miming the “wanking” hand gesture.

Donald Trump at least was sure he knew what Ramaswamy’s dropping TV ads meant, saying on his Fake Twitter that Ramaswamy “will, I am sure, Endorse me. But Vivek is a good man, and is not done yet!”

We’re certain that all is well and that we shouldn’t look forward to this prick going away, even if his campaign is starting to sputter like a TV that’s on the fritz. He’ll no doubt dismiss speculation that his campaign is circling the drain by insisting that in fact he has much support in the plumbing and bathroom fixtures trades, and if you’re so smart have you seen how expensive it is to call a plumber these days, because Joe Biden is a socialist?

[CBS News]

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