Wait, WTF Just Happened With Hunter Biden?
Wait, WTF Just Happened With Hunter Biden?
Someone's smoking crack here, and we're beginning to wonder if it's the DOJ.
Republicans have been screaming their heads off for years that the the fix was in and the Justice Department was in the tank for Hunter Biden. The howling reached a fever pitch in 2023 when Republicans took back the House and vowed to prove that the “Biden crime family” had taken millions of dollars in bribes from China. Or Ukraine. Or Narnia.
Thus far, they’ve come up with nothing. The closest they’ve come to landing a blow is a pair of IRS agents who insist that they understand better than prosecutors how law goes.
So on July 26, when Hunter Biden’s plea deal fell apart in Judge Maryellen Noreika’s Delaware courtroom they rejoiced — read: LIED — to see the court toss out what they were sure was a sweetheart deal. In point of fact, what happened was much more complicated than that. Under questioning from the judge, it became apparent that Biden believed the plea to two tax charges along with a diversion agreement for lying on his Delaware gun permit application about being a habitual drug user would put an end to the five-year criminal investigation into every aspect of his life. In contrast, the government believed that the deal would leave them free continue investigating him and potentially bring a further indictment unrelated to the tax and gun charges. It seems almost unbelievable that the highly experienced lawyers on both sides of this transaction could have fucked this up so badly, but … there it is.
(Independent journalist Marcy Wheeler has an interesting theory that the plea agreement was a bit of ruse by prosecutors to get him to admit to violating the Foreign Agents Registration Act, thus purging evidentiary problems arising from improper interference by Donald Trump when he was president.)
In any event, there was no meeting of the minds, so Judge Noreika sent the parties back to the drawing board to come up with a plan. But the parties were never able to agree on the terms of a plea deal, and prosecutors have now taken it off the table. This afternoon the government moved to dismiss the case so it could be brought elsewhere.
Without getting too deeply into the weeds, you can only be tried for a crime in the jurisdiction where it was committed. Here, Biden agreed to waive venue as a part of his plea, allowing prosecutors to charge him in Delaware for the tax crimes which took place in California and DC. But with no plea agreement, there was no waiver, and the government couldn’t proceed to trial in Delaware.
Just before the DOJ moved to dismiss, Attorney General Merrick Garland announced that Delaware US Attorney David Weiss had asked for and been granted appointment as special counsel, giving him both more independence and authority to indict nationwide. Weiss was tapped by Bill Barr to investigate Hunter Biden, and has remained in his position even as every other US Attorney was replaced by President Biden. His failure to convict Hunter Biden and his father for everything from jaywalking to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby has infuriated Republicans. And now he’s got the power to do just what they wanted, and they’re still not happy.
Here’s that hayseed nitwit James Comer, head of the House Oversight Committee, whining on Twitter:
This move by Attorney General Garland is part of the Justice Department’s efforts to attempt a Biden family coverup in light of the House Oversight Committee’s mounting evidence of President Joe Biden's role in his family's schemes selling “the brand” for millions of dollars to foreign nationals. The Justice Department's misconduct and politicization in the Biden criminal investigation already allowed the statute of limitations to run with respect to egregious felonies committed by Hunter Biden. Justice Department officials refused to follow evidence that could have led to Joe Biden, tipped off the Biden transition team and Hunter Biden’s lawyers about planned interviews and searches, and attempted to sneakily place Hunter Biden on the path to a sweetheart plea deal.
Let’s be clear what today’s move is really about. The Biden Justice Department is trying to stonewall congressional oversight as we have presented evidence to the American people about the Biden family’s corruption. The House Oversight Committee will continue to follow the Biden family’s money trail and interview witnesses to determine whether foreign actors targeted the Bidens, President Biden is compromised and corrupt, and our national security is threatened.
Well, he would, wouldn’t he.
Trump made mouth farts about the “Biden Cartel,” but honestly, it’s Friday, and you don’t care.
The point is, no one knows what the hell is going to happen next. The only thing for sure is … it’s not going to happen in Delaware.
US v. Biden [Docket via Court Listener]
Catch Liz Dye on Opening Arguments podcast.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, using this link will give Wonkette a small cut.
If any of this shit was real they would have uncovered it when they sent the crystal bats out o'er the land to find dirt on Obama or failing that ANYTHING ON ANYONE IN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION which I believe would include the VP and his family. So FUCK James Comer, FUCK Gym Jordan, FUCK Empty G (figuratively of course, ew), and FUCK DONALD TRUMP.
"Biden is compromised and corrupt". If anything Biden is TOO MUCH of a Boy Scout, and as such hasn't done a fucking thing that has to do with any of this. I mean, where is the "evidence" Mouth Breather has "presented to the American people". I'm all over the fucking internet every day, and I see NOTHING. They have NOTHING! Good DAY sirs! Talk about projection... as if Vanky and Jar-rod aren't two of the most corrupt assholes on the planet. (is "mutherfucker" verboten on this blommy-mog? If so I apologize and will never, ever, do that again.)