Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Firing Squad!

Drink.

Charles Baker explicitly called for a highball glass, “consequences be damned.” You’ve been warned.

[Editor’s note: We’ve had several messages from readers who think the name “Mexican Firing Squad” is racist; I don’t think so, it’s a drink from Mexico. But I’ve taken “Mexican” out of the title in case I’m wrong.] [Rebecca again: Apparently there’s an entire thing about “Mexican Firing Squad” on urbandictionary, and it is indeed racist for sure. Our true apologies.]

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. The weather in Ohio has turned cool and gloomy again, but I refuse to believe tequila season isn’t here. Perseverance will bring us springtime and nicer weather, I’m sure. Here’s a fairly simple pre-Prohibition cocktail that comes from an unsung hero of cocktail writing. I did make it a touch more complex, but it’s worth it, I promise. Time to make a Firing Squad. Here’s the recipe: 

Firing Squad

2 oz 818 reposado tequila

1 oz fresh lime juice

1 oz rich house grenadine

3 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake all ingredients and strain over ice into a highball glass. Garnish with a lime wheel. 

Rich House Grenadine

1 cup pomegranate juice

1 cup sugar

1 Tbs pomegranate molasses

¼ tsp orange blossom water

Place all ingredients in a saucepan. Heat until the sugar dissolves. Will keep for several weeks in the refrigerator. 

“We are still heartily of the opinion that decent libation supports as many million lives as it threatens; donates pleasure and sparkle to more lives than it shadows; inspires more brilliance in the world of art, music, letters, and common ordinary intelligent conversation, than it dims.”

— Charles Henry Baker Jr.

This recipe comes to us from Charles Henry Baker’s book The Gentleman’s Companion (Wonkette commission link), or, if you prefer, World-Famous Lively Liquid Masterpieces from Greater & Lesser Parts of Orient and Occident. & the South Seas. This book provided us with the recipe for the Remember the Maine, a cocktail I covered in October. I ignored the author in that column in favor of the sketchy politics and propaganda revolving around the drink. Boy howdy, did I ever make a mistake. 

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THIS ONE!

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Remember The Maine!

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Charles Baker worked in sales before finding his true calling as a writer, bon vivant, journalist, and all-around party animal. He had the good luck to marry an heiress, and the good sense to flee America entirely once Prohibition was enacted. He traveled the world, drank everything, everywhere, and wrote some truly epic prose about it all. I am, in a word, jealous. His book is equal parts Anthony Bourdain and Mark Twain, with a few recipes designed to make the liver cower in fear. This, my friends, was a life well-lived. 

He was very much on point when discussing the Mexican Firing Squad. (Charles didn’t just write cocktail recipes; he told you about where he drank it, what he was up to when he was drinking it, and often how he escaped after drinking it.) According to Mr. Baker, he and a companion were being escorted around Mexico by “2 young Mexican caballeros whose parents mattered in official circles in Mexico. We were herded into fancy, rather dull places, served too warm drinks. And finally on 1 occasion we broke off by ourself, sought out this bar—where an aristocrat native oughtn’t to be seen!—ordered things in our own way.” The bar in question was named “La Cucharacha,” and despite the inauspicious title turned out be a rather nice little speakeasy. Charles and his companion proceeded to get utterly blotto on this cocktail. I can firmly recommend it as a tart, dangerous sipper that can herald the beginning of spring and adventure. 

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. I’m a bit amazed that there’s any of that tequila left.

818 Reposado Tequila: This is a pricey bottle, but it’s 100 percent additive free. (“Pure” tequila is 99 percent agave per the Mexican government. Food scientists can get up to a lot of mischief with that other 1 percent.) Customers are asking for additive-free tequila, and I wanted to see what the fuss was about. It is, without a doubt, the best tequila I’ve ever tasted. Smooth, gentle agave syrup notes supporting a strong caramel/butterscotch flavor, sweet but not too sweet … this stuff is amazing. It might be too subtle for this cocktail. In retrospect, I would have used Olmeca Altos or Cazadores reposado. But I definitely do not regret buying this bottle. 

House Grenadine: Please, please don’t use Rose’s Grenadine from the liquor store. It’s corn syrup, red food coloring, and sadness. Real grenadine is tart, floral, and earthy. My version uses a touch of pomegranate molasses for extra depth and pucker power.

Lime juice: If, like me, you believe that tequila season has begun, you need to get a bag of fresh limes immediately. Tequila and lime go together like peanut butter and jelly. Always fresh, never bottled. 

Angostura Bitters: Modern takes on this drink ask for 4 dashes of Ango, which is a little excessive. Take it down to 3, and if the glass is still too spice-forward go to 2 dashes. I think the Angostura should be heavy enough in the cocktail to be a front and center flavor, and not a member of the supporting cast. 

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!  

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OPEN THREAD!