Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Ring The Alarm!
Time for a strong, spicy, smoky pineapple margarita. Possibly several of them.
Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender, and I have a drinking problem. By “drinking problem,” I mean “my fridge has a bunch of leftover olive oil vodka, orgeat, chile-infused Aperol, and tiki syrup in my fridge and there’s no room for the orange juice.” Time to do some spring cleaning. This cocktail uses some of the chile-infused Aperol I made for the Cherry Poppin’ Devil to create a completely different flavor profile. Let’s Ring The Alarm! Here’s the recipe:
Ring the Alarm
1 ½ oz Peloton De La Muerte Mezcal
1 oz pineapple juice
½ oz lime juice
½ oz chile-infused Aperol
½ oz agave nectar
Dash Peychaud’s bitters
Penzey’s Pico Fruta
Run a lime wedge over the rim of a rocks glass. Roll the edge of the glass in a small plate filled with Penzey’s Pico Fruta (hold the glass at a 45-degree angle to the plate). Add ice to the glass. Shake all remaining ingredients in a cocktail shaker and strain into the rimmed glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.
Chile-Infused Aperol
1 serrano chile pepper
8 oz Aperol
Heat the oven to 450. Roast the serrano chile for 10-15 minutes, turning every 5 minutes, until the chile is shriveled or popped. Place the chile in a small jar and muddle gently. Add the Aperol, seal the jar, and shake lightly. Let sit for 10 minutes — yes, just 10 minutes. Strain into a small bottle and refrigerate. The liqueur will be good for six months.
This cocktail from Gina Buck out of Concord Hill in Brooklyn impresses me on several levels. I knew I’d eventually use the chile-infused Aperol in a margarita of some stripe. But I hadn’t considered pineapple as an option. Pineapple is a strong flavor in a cocktail; generally, it dominates a glass. But the smoky mezcal and spicy/sweet Aperol cut through the juice nicely, providing a balanced drink. The Peychaud’s came out of left field for me in this cocktail. I’m used to Peychaud’s anise flavor taking over a cocktail, but one dash cooperates very well with the Aperol.
For those unfamiliar, mezcal is a smoky, rustic version of tequila. It’s made with different varieties of agave; tequila is made exclusively from blue agave from Jalisco. The plants are also roasted instead of steamed to extract their juice. The resulting liquor resembles Scotch, but the smoke hits you at the front of your palate instead of at the end. I expect to find experimental, intriguing agave spirits in the mezcal category. It’s tequila that doesn’t play by the rules. That’s not always the best thing; tequila doesn’t have a worm in the bottle, but mezcal does. (Don’t eat the worm. It’s gross, and it doesn’t have any flavor.)
I have yet to see any sign that tequila will be exempt from Trump’s tariffs, so it’s probably time to buy your tequila and mezcal now before prices go up. Tequila is made exclusively in the Jalisco province of Mexico per international law. I expect that some enterprising Texan will try selling “agave spirits” once tequila gets pricey. I also expect that they’ll be terrible.
Let’s talk ingredients:
Peloton De La Muerte Mezcal: Mezcal is experimental and rule-breaking, but it’s also fairly pricey. Peloton hits the sweet spot when it comes to cost vs. flavor. It’s the mezcal of choice in several craft cocktail bars I’ve worked in.
Pineapple juice: I prefer canned juice to fresh pineapple; it’s smoother and less acidic. I used the little cans from Dole out of convenience.
Lime juice: Always fresh. Plastic fruit. Plastic juice. You know the drill by now.
Chile-infused Aperol: I recently got my hands on some Thai bird’s eye chile peppers, courtesy of a pilgrimage to Jungle Jim’s near Cincinnati. When I remake this infusion, I’ll use these peppers and let you know the results.
Agave nectar: The sweetener of choice for most margaritas. The price on this stuff will be going up as well, so stock up.
Peychaud’s Bitters: I am exceptionally pleased with how these bitters elevate what could be a basic margarita into something special. I now have a whole new perspective on how to use these bright-red anise-flavored bitters from New Orleans.
Penzey’s Pico Fruta: Tajin is easier to find, but the tariffs will inevitably hit that too. Penzey’s is made in the US, and we’re always happy to support them at Wonkette.
In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!
We aren’t linking to Amazon anymore, because fuck Bezos with a rusty bar spoon. Go read Mezcal: The History, Craft, & Cocktails of the World’s Ultimate Artisanal Spirit by Emma Janzen instead. Might as well enjoy the party while it lasts.
You can find me on Bluesky at @samuraigrog!
OPEN THREAD! DRINK!
It’s All You Can Eat Snow Crab Legs night at the bar, so I fully expect to come home exhausted and reeking of drawn butter. Toss any questions you got here.
Here is a nice thing, a simple little story. On my subway travels today a cool old dude squeezed into the seat next to me, he had all kinds of piercings, funky clothes, braided grey beard. He apologized for bumping me as the seating was tight and he said he was getting fat. I said it was ok, I too was never sure if my bootie would fit when I sat down. We both laughed. He told me it was his 70th birthday and he was going to visit his son. I told him I hoped he had a great birthday as I got off the train and he said thank you, you have a great day too.
A nice, short and sweet interaction with another human is good for the soul.