What If Canada And Israel Played Tennis And Nobody Came?

For 'security,' not for 'so nobody would boo.'

Photo: Ahmed/Unsplash

Israel’s top tennis players must’ve hoped for a better reception when they landed in Halifax to settle a tie with Canada to see which of the two countries would qualify for next year’s Davis Cup.

After all, their home turf in Tel Aviv is called Canada Stadium, which was built back in the ‘70s after a group of well-heeled Canadian settlers got a resounding khen to the age-old question: “Tennis, anyone?” The choice of name showed some serious chutzpah for a sports complex where nobody plays hockey or even lacrosse, but the Israelis might’ve also felt somewhat at home playing at the Scotiabank Centre (not to be confused with the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto or Calgary’s Scotiabank Saddledome) given the Canadian moneylenders’ funding of their country’s ongoing genocide in Gaza.

World-class tennis is rarely seen in the Maritimes and this weekend was no exception after organizers made the decision to ban ticket holders with only a few days notice beforehand due to “escalating safety concerns,” according to a release from Tennis Canada:

Intelligence received from local authorities and national security agencies, combined with disruptions witnessed at other recent events both in Canada and internationally, indicated a risk of significant disruption to this event.

The Davis Cup, the main event in men’s team tennis, is put on by the International Tennis Federation, and the ITF sure seem more concerned about public safety than the IDF is. Or at least the optics of polite Canadians causing a racket. They claimed the tough call to close the matches to both spectators and media came after consultation with Mossad Halifax Regional Police, the Mounties, and even the spooks at CSIS, which was news to them as all three agencies denied having been in contact with tournament organizers, according to the CBC.

“No man’s land” is the term for the court space between the service line and baseline, but it could’ve equally applied to the empty home of the Halifax Mooseheads when Team Canada swept the visitors 3-0 yesterday in the best-of-five series for a bye to the next round. Love also means nothing in tennis so nobody should expect the sport’s governing body to be some sort of moral authority on anything, but it’s worth noting sixth-seeded Canada might’ve just as easily drawn Russia — the Davis Cup champions in 2021 — instead but they were suspended indefinitely for invading Ukraine the following year. Yet it’s somehow still kosher for Israel to smash its own neighbors to smithereens.

This isn’t the first time the Middle Eastern nation’s quest for the holy grail of tennis has caused problems in a championship format where one country finds itself hosting another. A 2009 match in the city of Malmö between Israel and Sweden, for example, brought out thousands of protesters against the warm-up to today’s Gaza War, forcing organizers to drastically slash the number of seats. But at least a live audience wasn’t banned entirely like at the 2020 US Open in happier times at the height of the pandemic.

(It probably goes without saying Palestine doesn’t compete in the Davis Cup, although it’s sent teams to every Summer Olympics since 1996 in other sports. This streak is presumably over with the Palestine Olympic Committee’s HQ having been blown up, and athletes are unlikely to want to risk running a gauntlet of ICE goons waiting on the LAX tarmac in 2028 no matter how fast they are.)

Tennis crowds are typically known for being a quiet and reserved bunch aside the odd Monica Seles stabbing, although fans in the mad king’s hometown of Queens rose to the occasion after he made the unforced error of showing his face at the US Open last week. Which we can hope hurt his ego more than the usual bog-standard booings given that he enjoyed playing the game in his more virile days and forced himself on the event for decades.

Enjoy Donald Trump Getting Booed And Looking Sad At The US Open

Roughly 400 peaceful protesters marched from Citadel Hill to the arena on Friday, a stark contrast to a different qualifying match held just down the road from Mar-a-Lago the same weekend between Czechia and yet another rogue nation that for some reason didn’t see any protesters at all.

Previously on Unwanted Houseguests of Nova Scotia!

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[CBC / Halifax Examiner / Wonkette Bluesky Starter Pack]