Which Weasel Republican Weaseled Worst On This Sunday's Shows?

A very weaselly rundown!

The Sunday shows this week were dominated by the slimiest and most disingenuously conniving Republicans today. So, let’s dive right in and witness the shameless lies that pass as conservative policy today.

Byron Donalds: Swamp Weasel

We begin chronologically with Florida Rep. and Jim Crow superfan Byron Donalds on CNN’s “State Of The Union.”

If it hasn’t been made clear by all the times we have highlighted Byron Donalds, he is a craven opportunist who will easily sell out anyone so long as HE is protected by white supremacy the Republican Party. When asked what Donald Trump would do policy-wise to help Black Americans in a second term, Donalds gave an answer that was perfect but not how he thinks.

DONALDS: What Donald Trump was going to do is going to be actually quite similar to what he did in his first term. […]

So basically nothing, either because he’ll coast off the policies of preceding Democratic presidents like he did on HBCU funding or he’ll lie about his accomplishments even if actually debunked by real metrics.

A perfect example of this is when host Dana Bash asked about Trump threatening to withhold federal disaster aid from California because of California's environmental policies. Donalds decided to victim blame California rather than condemn a president willing to hurt a state for political reasons.

DONALDS: I think, when you look at Florida versus California, taking in hurricane-force winds and massive flooding is one thing. There's not much the state of Florida can do to prevent that. You compare that with California's environmental policy, a lot of their forest fires are mostly caused because the state of California blocks the management of their lands. They don't clear the underbrush. We do that here in Florida, which is why you don't have the major issues of massive forest fires raging through our state. But California doesn't do the simple work of clearing underbrush. […]

Bash, for her part, tried to explain another clear reason why Florida gets less forest fires than California.

BASH: Well, the topography of California and Florida, as you know, are very different. […]

Kinda hard for forest fires to occur when your (and this writer’s former) state is mostly swamp and humidity. Donalds, who has to leave Florida in order to be in Congress, should know this. It’s the same reason that California doesn’t have an invasive iguana problem or why they can have lovely patio furniture without it turning into mold spore incubators. Not clearing moist underbrush won’t raise the forest fire risks in Florida, Donalds.

But Donalds continued trying to make bad arguments until Bash changed the subject to the 2024 election. Bash asked Donalds if he would follow the new version of the Electoral Count Act, which was passed in the wake of January, and which insurrectionists Trump allies call “unconstitutional.”

Donalds would not commit to obeying the law and certify an election if the Republicans lose.

DONALDS: As long as states and jurisdictions follow election procedures in their states, there will be no problem for me or anybody on Capitol Hill.

Donalds preceded to try to peddle the same election conspiracies he and Trump have for four years, and Bash debunked them while ending this idiotic segment.

Mike Johnson: Evangelical Weasel

The current speaker of the House appeared on NBC’s “Meet The Press” and CBS’s “Face The Nation,” bringing his trademark faux sincerity smugness.

After lying about and being a feckless asshole about FEMA funding and disaster response, since he won’t call the House back to vote for aid, Johnson then said similar lies to Donalds about the 2024 election on “Meet The Press.”

Johnson, who is a noted election denier, then tried to do some good ol’ historical revision about January 6.

KRISTEN WELKER: Regardless of who wins you'll certify the results?

JOHNSON: Regardless, of course it — Yes, if the election is free and fair and legal, and we pray and hope that it is. […]

WELKER: When people hear you say, “If it is free and fair,” does that not undermine people's confidence in the election results, Mr. Speaker?

JOHNSON: No, it shouldn't. No, it — No, it shouldn't. […] Listen, Democrats have objected to slates of electors in every single election this century when a Republican president has won. Every single time.

WELKER: And yet, they all conceded. And yet they have conceded.

JOHNSON: Yes. And that’s the point.

WELKER: Former President Trump has yet to concede in 2020.

JOHNSON: That’s — no, the point is the process works. We have the peaceful transfer of power. We did in 2020. We will in 2024. […]

We’re old enough to remember when Republicans used to say “George W Bush ‘kept us safe’ … after 9/11” and point out the absurdity of carving out that huge exception. Yes, if you ignore January 6 or Trump never conceding, I guess there was a “peaceful transfer of power.”

Johnson also lied about a possible federal abortion ban because he hopes Americans won’t notice until they do it if they return to power.

WELKER: [Y]ou wouldn’t move to try to ban abortion at the national level? I understand there's not a consensus, but would you move to ban abortion at the national level?

JOHNSON: I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, Kristen. I have 434 colleagues. I mean, I'm a Bible-believing Christian. I believe in the sanctity of life. That’s — My view doesn't change. But there's no way I could bring that bill in Congress right now. […]

On “Face The Nation,” Johnson tried to talk out of both sides of his mouth about election integrity and Margaret Brennan fact checked him like a common JD Vance.

BRENNAN: Respectfully, Speaker, you both, in the course of this interview, said that you do believe that states have taken measures that will help the integrity of this election […] and then you just also seemed to undermine confidence in the integrity of the state elections.

JOHNSON: No, no. Margaret, hold on. Wait a minute. Wait. Wait just a minute. It's not me undermining it. […]

Speaking of “I was told there wouldn’t be any fact checking” …

JD Vance: Couch Fucking Weasel

Actually, Wonketteers, I can’t subject myself to more JD Vance. Here is the video.

Watch or don’t watch. But he’s a lying, debate bro fuckmook. We’re tired of his face and voice. So, we are pulling the ripcord here.

Have a week.

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