Wonkette's News Of Today Is DONE With This Debate Coverage, YAY!
Afternoon post roundup!
We didn’t love the Tim Walz/JD Vance vice presidential debate! We wanted Walz to come at JD Vance with a hug and make him weep for the Good Dad he always wanted! Instead, Vance was smarmy, slick, such a liar, and reasonable. Oh so reasonable! If you watched with the sound off, like they say you’re supposed to, for “vibes,” Vance looked at Walz — like Trump refused to do in his own debate — and Walz looked at his notes, or, sometimes, like cartoon steam was going to pour out of his ears.
It was not a disqualifying debate. It was not a disaster. Nobody crawled under their couch and shouted OH MY GOD WE’RE GOING TO DIE like I may or may not have (absolutely did) during the Biden Trump debate. We just wished Walz would slow down, stop trying to answer everything, and not get hung up on Vance’s Gish gallop.
That’s what the next day posts are for. And I’m pretty sure we hit all the necessary points!
First, last night’s debate!
(He did not stuff him in a couch. But I did like when he shouted about DEAD KIDS, because: correct. THE FUCKING KIDS ARE DEAD. STOP WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING GUNS.)
Correct, he did not fool anybody:
Pretty, pretty, pretty good!
(Also, wrote before the debate last night but RELEVANT!)
FACT-CHECK on Aisle DRUGS!
FACT-CHECK on Aisle IMMIGRANTS!
FACT-CHECK on the BALLS on them!
I almost lost my mind when he said this.
And meet Marcus. Marcus is your new hero!
In non-debate news today we had tabs! It has Callyson and Spotts’s wedding photos, you should click it!
Also this weirdo and then another weirdo, the Ben Shapiro’s sister one.
Oh man, Ben Shapiro’s sister just made me think of Shakespears Sister, and what if Ben Shapiro’s sister was cool and did something cool with her life, like SEXY WITCH STUFF. Oh man, that would be cool.
Fuck yeah. COLLEGE. Okay, see you bright and early for morning tabs!
Baby You Can Drive Our Car
Hear ye hear ye we added a SUPERHERO KAMALA HARRIS to our keychain collection, and then we dropped the price too because what are we, GOUGERS of KEYCHAINS?
Thanks for this Quick rundown on the Lies JD Vance told last night. Excellent piece today, Thanks, Rebecca Schonenkopf 💯💙🌊🌊
Sorry, but I thought Daddy-Coach Walz nailed it. He took Vance's measure (teeny)and ploughed right in. No hesitation.
Vance oozed insincerity and smarminess. However, we probably could have skipped this one.