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Palin Family Leaves Empty Mall of America Book Signing Half Hour Early

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IS THIS THE END OF SNOWBILLY GRIFTING? The jihadist conspiracy of elitist liberal shopping mall patrons struck with merciless force yesterday at Minnesota's Mall of America: only 300 peopleshowed up to attend the Sarah and Bristol Palin book signing of Bristol's new memoir about her life as a drunk pregnant teenager. The family abandoned the stage half an hour before the end of the time slot because there was nobody left. So are we at last witnessing the sad finale of Real American Freedom? Our true patriots are no longer willing to give up fifteen of their last dollars to support the unemployed offspring of this screeching, nightmare opportunist woman. Wait wait, oh come on, uh, how about if Sarah Palin says, "The Constitution of the United States is fricking awesome" three times out loud to anyone in line? Will they hand her some of those crumpled, sweaty dollars in that case? 


From the CityPages:

The rules set up by Mall of America officials for Sarah and Bristol Palin's book signing yesterday seemed to have been written in anticipation of an army of fans.

"'Camping out' is not allowed," the rules read. "Beginning at 5 a.m., guests will be allowed to line up."

But there was no teeming crowd of rabid Palinites at 5 a.m. And less than a half hour into the appearance of Bristol, Sarah and Todd Palin, the crowd had dwindled to a trickle of latecomers.

Palin has also dropped down to single digits among likely voters in a new Fox News poll. Can we say that America has finally started to quit Sarah Palin? Because we can't say it any other way. [CityPages]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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