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Palin Might Run For President Because Of Raging Non-Limbaugh Misogynists

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Sarah Palin went on -- or should we say, was transmitted through someone's phone-toy in the direction of -- CNN during Tuesday's Super Snoozeday parade, and proclaimed that who knows whether she'll run for president today, tomorrow, or after the Mayan apocalypse, but anything is possible because Americans can do anything they put their minds to, emphasis on "minds" and excluding jobs. Later on, while Romney was disappointing America, CNN spent a good portion of the long process of cell degeneration we call life talking about Palin some more, with what little comprehensible English was made available by her mouth yesterday. Conclusion: Sarah Palin is an alive person. Plus, hates misogynists as long as they are liberal.

Seeing as Election 2012 is like a very long airplane ride from which there is no escape and very poor in-flight entertainment or food, we may as well delve into this one-inch-deep story, as we delve into movies like "What's Your Number?" or "The Help" when they are the only ones Delta is allowing us to see tinily through our dehydrated Brut goggles.

Disregarding the fact that if nobody asked Sarah Palin if she'll run for president, she probably never would (trees falling in forests and all that), Palin Tuesday responded to CNN's deeply unoriginal question by saying:

As I say, anything is possible. And I don’t close any doors that perhaps would be open out there. So, no, I wouldn’t close that door. And my plan is to be at that convention.

Here's a video, with Sarah looking very mineral powdery and happy-angry.

The subplot of this family fun is that Sarah Palin was not excited about Barack Obama pandering to tears with his "I made a phone call to Sandra Fluke" comment. Mr. Man said he felt for Fluke re: Limbaugh because he has daughters or something. So Palin released a statement telling Obama to return the money that Bill Maher (a "rabid misogynist," according to Palin, because he once called her a "c---," which, yes, that was too bad) donated to one of Obama's super PACs to the tune of one million dollars. Anyway, linking to FOX NOOSE for this only to show everybody that the Fox website has been redesigned to look like the Constitution.

Palin closed out the iPhone clip with these words, directed at CNN, which sum up everything nicely:

I APPRECIATE U. [Houston Chronicle/Fox News]

A Note From the Editrix: Comments on this post have been closed thanks to the one asshole who's decided to disregard our well-known policy against slurs on Palin's youngest child. The rest of you shouting 'cunt' over and over again like a naughty kid who just learned the word, eh, that's fine though less clever than you may think.

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The Dumb Song Of J. Dinesh Prufrock

A quick Dear Shitferbrains for you smart kids today, in response to our recent piece on Dinesh D'Souza's continued insistence that historian Kevin M. Kruse please bitchslap him with facts again and again. It turns out we picked the wrong historian to lionize, according to "Hadding Scott," who dropped by to let us know we had foolishly referred to a mere Princeton professor instead of to the most comprehensive take-down-er of D'Souza's lies, "Hadding Scott" himself.

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Among the primary results from Tuesday that we didn't report: Chris Murphy, US Senator from Connecticut, managed to hold on to the Democratic nomination for a second term. Actually, if you want to get all technical about it, he didn't win the nom Tuesday -- he'd already been nominated at the state party convention in May, and the Dem primary was cancelled since Murphy was the only one to file. Murphy's also heavily favored to win reelection this fall. The biggest question for Murphy is whether he's hoping to seek some other office in a couple years. (As if any prominent Democratic senator hasn't already mentally compared their inaugural crowd size to Trump's.)

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