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Palin Might Run For President Because Of Raging Non-Limbaugh Misogynists

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Sarah Palin went on -- or should we say, was transmitted through someone's phone-toy in the direction of -- CNN during Tuesday's Super Snoozeday parade, and proclaimed that who knows whether she'll run for president today, tomorrow, or after the Mayan apocalypse, but anything is possible because Americans can do anything they put their minds to, emphasis on "minds" and excluding jobs. Later on, while Romney was disappointing America, CNN spent a good portion of the long process of cell degeneration we call life talking about Palin some more, with what little comprehensible English was made available by her mouth yesterday. Conclusion: Sarah Palin is an alive person. Plus, hates misogynists as long as they are liberal.

Seeing as Election 2012 is like a very long airplane ride from which there is no escape and very poor in-flight entertainment or food, we may as well delve into this one-inch-deep story, as we delve into movies like "What's Your Number?" or "The Help" when they are the only ones Delta is allowing us to see tinily through our dehydrated Brut goggles.

Disregarding the fact that if nobody asked Sarah Palin if she'll run for president, she probably never would (trees falling in forests and all that), Palin Tuesday responded to CNN's deeply unoriginal question by saying:

As I say, anything is possible. And I don’t close any doors that perhaps would be open out there. So, no, I wouldn’t close that door. And my plan is to be at that convention.

Here's a video, with Sarah looking very mineral powdery and happy-angry.

The subplot of this family fun is that Sarah Palin was not excited about Barack Obama pandering to tears with his "I made a phone call to Sandra Fluke" comment. Mr. Man said he felt for Fluke re: Limbaugh because he has daughters or something. So Palin released a statement telling Obama to return the money that Bill Maher (a "rabid misogynist," according to Palin, because he once called her a "c---," which, yes, that was too bad) donated to one of Obama's super PACs to the tune of one million dollars. Anyway, linking to FOX NOOSE for this only to show everybody that the Fox website has been redesigned to look like the Constitution.

Palin closed out the iPhone clip with these words, directed at CNN, which sum up everything nicely:

I APPRECIATE U. [Houston Chronicle/Fox News]

A Note From the Editrix: Comments on this post have been closed thanks to the one asshole who's decided to disregard our well-known policy against slurs on Palin's youngest child. The rest of you shouting 'cunt' over and over again like a naughty kid who just learned the word, eh, that's fine though less clever than you may think.

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Screenshot, CNN

If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

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In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

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