Last week, our readership more than settled the issue of panda superiority by putting forth an ironclad case for our own Butterstick. We've since read about how the Stick's supreme cuteness has cuteologists everywhere rethinking their previously bandied unified field theorems of adorableness. If Butterstick's endearing delectableness is the irreducible complexity intelligent-design advocates have yearned for, well, all we can say is all hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
However, those second-rate San Diegan Su Lin supporters just can't leave well enough alone. A faithful Wonkette operative alerted us today to the existence of an online petition, seeking to usurp the very name of our roly-poly holiness. Angst and aggravation, say we! This is what the kids on the avenue refer to as "a jack move." Oh, Su Lin, when will you learn, you can't stoop to conquer the Stick, and you do yourself a dissservice when you forget the tragedy that was the Adams Morgan Jumbo Slice Wars.— DCEIVER