PANIC! TERROR! NEW YORK CITY UNDER ATTACK AGAIN!
Here is a picture of the rare 6-way split screen -- nothing short of more TERROR FROM THE SKIES IN NYC can bring this one about. Should a genuine terrorist attack occur, expect to see 12, possibly 13 seperate screens on your tv.
Panic is spreading! DID YOU REALIZE THAT 10/11/6 IS 9/11/01 UPSIDE DOWN? Or kinda sideways, or something? THINK ABOUT IT!
CNN reporters are heroically filling up minute after minute despite knowing absolutely nothing -- the targeted Upper East Side building was, by way of context, described as being "midway between Wall Street and... upstate New York." The plane is reported to have hit somewhere between the moon and New York City.
JACK CAFFERTY: "You know, it's a busy place, Wolf. Unfortunately, these kinds of things happen." The man is so cantankerous that even terror no longer impresses him.
ANDERSON COOPER, reporting live ON THE SCENE. From, you know, his apartment. Presumably.
The Huffington Post is bravely still leading with Mark Foley, maybe because they haven't had time to whip up one of their bizarre and hideous mirror-image photo illustration... things.
The HuffPo comments section is also a huge, hilarious clusterfuck. We'll update this below the jump if, you know, CNN continues entertaining/enraging us.
THIS IS ALL DETROIT'S FAULT?
UPDATE 2: YANKESS PITCHER CORY LIDLE CONFIRMED AS PILOT, PRESIDENT BUSH ANNOUNCES PLANS TO INVADE SHEA STADIUM