Part Two of the Hayden Hearing Liveblog: Back from Recess and Ready for Social Studies

11:41 -- DeWine reminds us of a suburban bank branch manager. He talks kinda like Jimmy Stewart, though. He is reading his History Day presentation on "The CIA."


"Do you agree that we need to be more creative and risk-taking?" Oy, this is bullshit.

"The culture of the Agency was such that this baby will be strangled in the crib." We forgot what he's talking about, but that's a really creepy metaphor.

The Jimmy Stewart thing is bugging us. "In th-th-that light, lemme ask you a question... uhhhhh.... ehhhh.... Ah-ah-ah... are you gonna shut down the Savings and Loan?"

We've considered turning this off and putting in The Philadelphia Story.

11:32 -- Levin: Will you be nice to detainees? How bout that Geneva Convention?

Hayden: Uh... not really.

Levin: Convention against torture?

Hayden: Detainee Treatment Act.

Levin: Yeah, but that's for the DoD. Not the CIA.

Hayden: So it is, yes.

Levin: Well, my time's up.

11:29 -- Hayden: "I was uncomfortable." W/ DoD's personal intelligence analysis study group and their Al-Qaeda-Iraq link. Which leads to "I got three great kids."

Holy shit he just threatened to build up a dossier on his KIDS! HE WILL PROVE CONCLUSIVELY A HAYDEN'S KIDS-SADDAM HUSSEIN LINK.

Levin: Will you describe the difference between the bad way to do things and the way you will do things? Hayden: "18 years of Catholic education, I know a lot about deductive reasoning."

"What happens when induction meets deduction, Senator?" Two great tastes that taste great together.

Levin: Did you have a disagreement with the Defense Secretary? By the way, you're wearing a uniform.

Hayden: DoD put my testimony on their website. NSA didn't. "My solution was something like the founding fathers'." Own slaves, shoot English people, fight Indians. Right?

11:20 -- "Some significant percentage, it's a big number, of that organization that attacked us on September 11," has been taken care of. Al-Qaeda is "on it's back foot right now."

Levin sounds kinda out of breath. He brings it back to the NSA program. He gets Hayden to say he "participated in the design of the program." Levin: "Will you at least say that there is a privacy concern?" Maybe? Please? Just say it. "Privacy issue." Come on.

Hayden: Nope. I did give a talk about freedom vs. security.

The most he can get out of him is "I can certainly understand why someone would be concerned." And "there are privacy concerns in everything we do."

Did your people agree with the specious legal argument made by the President? The "Authotization of Force" allows us to do anything we want argument? Hayden: "Article 2! Article 2!"

11:10 -- HumInt vs. SigInt! Jargon time! "Two games going on simultaneously," sez Hayden. One in the agency, one in the greater community. Two games, no ref. Also, both games are air hockey. And the table's not plugged in. And we're out of quarters. SPORTS METAPHORS, YES.

DoD and CIA getting on just fine, thank you! Everyone's friends. Kit is trying to get him to smackdown Rumsfeld. Closest he'll get is saying that "on the ground," DoD intelligence is doing the exact same thing as CIA intelligence. But don't worry, they're going to draw a "bright line" between them. Divide Iraq down the middle with chalk, Rumsfeld has to stay on his side, Negroponte on the other. HILARITY ENSUES.

Bond read a book on the CIA in Afghanistan. Whattya want, one of Hayden's medals?

11:03 -- Hayden: Affect of leaks on terrorist-capturing: "It's almost Darwinian." WILL HE BE THE FIRST ADMINISTRATION APPOINTEE WHO BELIEVES IN DARWIN? WE DON'T CARE ABOUT "PROBABLE CAUSE," PUT THIS GUY IN CHARGE OF THE NEA FER CHRISSAKES.

11:00 -- Kit Bond! Secret Agent Senator! "Are you a lawyer?" No, he is not. Kit wants to know that how we can stop the wiretapping program from, say, "listening in on the media." Don't think they're particularly interested in stopping that. Ha ha, Hayden: In terms of making sure the program is lawful, "others are more expert than I."

There's a target folder that explains the rationale with a lengthy check-list. Hooray. "To the best of my knowledge, folks out there are batting 1,000." Kit basing his questions on stuff he heard on the radio this morning. He's gonna ask Hayden about that video of the bear eating the monkey next.

10:49 -- What the hell is Pat Roberts talking about. Where will you put dissenters on the assumption train? The front? The middle? Not the caboose. Well, Senator, we're pretty sure the CIA doesn't really care where dissenters sit on the assumption train, as long as that train is headed for secret Soviet-era eastern European prisons.

10:42 -- During the break, Jane Harman says the administration is violating the law and the constitution. She's looking pretty good, actually. Testy works for her. Kind of a slow burn. She wears it much more calmly than Pelosi. Can we switch them?

The Immigration vote has finished, we're pretty sure they passed leglislation outlawing Mexico forever. And we're coming to order! Proceed to questions! Members will be recognized in the order of their arrival! Chairman Howie Mandel explains the rules.

Roberts: Will you be our friend?

Hayden: Yes.

Roberts: Allow me to agree with your opening statement. We will kind of pay attention to what you do, though. Is that ok?

Hayden pretends to take notes on Roberts' babbling. Cute. He is writing: a) "Christ, what an asshole." b) "Pick up milk, tap Wyden's phone." c) "Harman: new haircut?"

Roberts: General, will you retroactively screw up Iraq WMD intelligence?

Hayden: Probably not, no.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc