PARTY TIME: America Celebrates Record-Breaking Corruption!

  • The United States is experiencing a corruption renaissance, according to the Global Corruption Index! We are now ranked at 19th, which is the lowest score awarded to the United States in the index's 15-year history. Apparently "lending practices in the subprime crisis, the disclosure of Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme and rows over political funding had all rattled public faith about prevailing ethics in America." And they said we couldn't do it! (Well fuck them, whoever they are.) Are you blowing as hard as you can on your Vuvuzela as you read this? If not, why not? It's party time, people. Responsible/lame people might say, "Party time? But we are all sad and worried." That didn't stop the rich people on the Titanic from drinking champagne and using poor people as lifeboats. Just sayin'. [Reuters]

  • Saddam Hussein's foreign minister, Tariq Aziz, has been sentenced to death by hanging. Stay tuned for the cellphone camera video. [NYT]

  • Meanwhile, shadowy organizations have funneled a cool $257.7 million into this election cycle, which is a World Record. And also a lot of money is being donated to Arizona's Mexican Law. Ha ha, we are doomed. [McClatchy]


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