Pat Buchanan Wants To Know 'Just Whose War Is This?' Spoiler Alert: The Jews The Jews The Jews (And The Saudis)

Pat Buchanan Wants To Know 'Just Whose War Is This?' Spoiler Alert: The Jews The Jews The Jews (And The Saudis)

Oh, Pat Buchanan, you must be having a fine old time with this Syria thing. There's a crisis in the Middle East, so let's see if we can possibly look behind the curtain andsee who's REALLY driving the agenda, because of course it can't simply be the Obama Administration scrambling to come up with something to do in response to a gas attack on civilians. And you will never in a million years guess who Pat Buchanan, writing for serious journalism outlet WND, thinks is behind the push for military action against Syria, unless you read our headline: SCARY FOREIGNERS AND JEWS.

Buchanan starts with a swipe at the Saudis, because, come on, Saudis:

Wednesday, John Kerry told the Senate not to worry about the cost of an American war on Syria.

The Saudis and Gulf Arabs, cash-fat on the $110-a-barrel oil they sell U.S. consumers, will pick up the tab for the Tomahawk missiles.

Has it come to this – U.S. soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen as the mercenaries of sheikhs, sultans and emirs, Hessians of the New World Order, hired out to do the big-time killing for Saudi and Sunni royals?

Of course, that's not exactly what Kerry said, because why would bother with nuance? In any case, Buchanan is rolling now, so let's get to the REAL baddies:

Yesterday, too, came a stunning report in the Washington Post.

The Conference of Presidents of Major American Jewish Organizations has joined the Israeli lobby AIPAC in an all-out public campaign for a U.S. war on Syria

Marvin Hier of the Simon Wiesenthal Center and Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League have invoked the Holocaust, with Hier charging the U.S. and Britain failed to rescue the Jews in 1942.

Yet, if memory serves, in ’42 the Brits were battling Rommel in the desert and the Americans were still collecting their dead at Pearl Harbor and dying on Bataan and Corregidor.

Yes, Buchanan never misses a chance to downplay the Holocaust -- bummer about the gas chambers, but hey, we were busy. But there are more culprits to name!

The Republican Jewish Coalition, too, bankrolled by Sheldon Adelson, the Macau casino mogul whose solicitude for the suffering children of Syria is the stuff of legend, is also backing Obama’s war.

Adelson, who shelled out $70 million to bring down Barack, wants his pay-off – war on Syria. And he is getting it. Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor have saluted and enlisted. Sheldon, fattest of all fat cats, is buying himself a war

Yet, is it really wise for Jewish organizations to put a Jewish stamp on a campaign to drag America into another war that a majority of their countrymen do not want to fight?

Yep, that's what those Jews do -- drag Americans into wars. Notice how the talk of "some kind of military action" in Syria has morphed into a full-scale "war" that America will inevitably become part of -- that's a cute rhetorical trick, Pat!

Oh, and Buchanan, the great anti-communist of the '80s, now thinks that maybe we should pay serious attention to Russia's "100-page document tracing the March use of chemical weapons to the rebels," so that's one more serious reason to doubt the need for an attack on Syria. Also, did he mention that there's a lot of scary Arab terrorists over there, and also 9/11, too?

Now, just to clarify, we sure as hell don't know what good an attack on Syria would do. We fully agree with Wonkette's Official Editorial Policy on Syria, which is ?????? To that, we would add Yr Doktor Zoom's Official Editorial Policy on Syria, which is to remember that now that we are gainfully employed, we can actually afford a contribution to Doctors Without Borders. But we are pretty sure of one thing: Whatever Pat Buchanan thinks about Syria is almost certainly wrong and gratuitously racist on top of being wrong.

And of course, the really tough thing when it comes to writing anything about Pat Buchanan is that nobody will ever top what Molly Ivins said about his "Culture War" speech to the GOP convention in 1992: "Many people did not care for Pat Buchanan's speech; it probably sounded better in the original German." Everything after that is mere commentary.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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