Pat Robertson Introduces This Nice Lady Who Writes Nice Children's Books About The Mark Of The Beast

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Well, folks, it's Thursday, so we've got yet another Sign of the End Times. This time, Pat Robertson has discovered thatelectronic payments are the Mark of the Beast. We always thought it was UPC codes, but apparently, no, it's electronic banking, and maybe also RFID chips, and for all we know, probably immigration reform too. You see, the End Times Preppers are always on the lookout for the Mark of the Beast, which the Book of Revelation says is going to have to be on your wrist or your forehead, but which really could be any universal technology involved in buying and selling. (Yes, there are some folks who insist that government-issued currency is the Mark, since Walmart doesn't take gold. And Germany doesn't even hide it! Look what they call their money!!1!)


So on today's 700 Club, Robertson warned that "it's here. Big Brother is here!" He also has a news report from self-credentialed "privacy expert" Dr. Katherine Albrecht, who knows for a fact that They want RFID chips embedded in everyone -- never mind that the effective range of most chips is a matter of inches (battery-powered chips exist, but are bulky and expensive...but They will keep making them smaller and smaller.) Albrecht is certain that we'll all be tagged with RFID chips -- or whatever the next technology is -- in our hands or foreheads. Needless to say, Albrecht has books for sale: Spychips: How Major Corporations and Government Plan to Track Your Every Move with RFID (and the exciting sequel The Spychips Threat: Why Christians Should Resist RFID and Electronic Surveillance). She even has a charming book for little children to scare them into becoming Amish, maybe -- it's called I Won't Take The Mark, and it's the book up top with weirdly clean-shaven Jesus. (Jesus was no hippie, you know. Don't let those faggot Renaissance artists fool you.) Darned if we can find this book for sale online -- even by mail order, paid with cash -- and that's a shame, because that would make one heck of a dandy Sundays With the Christianists post. We'd love to see what that "contract" part of the book is -- some kind of nightmare-fuel pledge to never let anyone put a microchip in your body?

I am stunned at the number of people who have gone to VBS and summer camp and Bible school and Sunday school, and they've never even heard of the mark of the Beast. The churches aren't preaching it; they're not discussing it.

There's an embarrassment factor about this, which is ironic because throughout all of history, it's been a huge topic. Now that we're actually seeing these technologies develop before our eyes, no one wants to talk about them."

So it's nice to see that some people are willing to talk about this stuff more loudly, so that we can avoid them. Seems weird that Christians would be paranoid and fearful about some omniscient invisible force watching them all the time.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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