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Patriotism Fails Local Football Team


Last night's Redskins opener was a tasteful, sober celebration of the quiet dignity of American patriotism -- just kiddin'! There was flags-a-plenty and Lee Greenwood on the loudspeakers!

Distributing flags to some 90,000 "greater Washington area" football fans who are rabid to start a promising season on the anniversary of 9/11 is a recipe for kitschy patriotism of the highest order. Intern Nick documented the vigorous flag wavin', but had to end the recording before the spontaneous "U-S-A, U-S-A" chants began, because some things shouldn't be shown even on the internet.

Despite having God and Country on their side, the Indiginous Americans lost by 3 to the Nordic Sailors.

After the jump, a big picture of Tom Cruise at the game with his scary robot wife and a child who might be his son.

cruiseskins.jpgPhoto: AP

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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