Donate

And then he'll grow his beard back


Speaker of the House Paul Ryan responded Monday to Donald Trump's threat to remove him as chair of the Republican National Convention by saying he's willing to step down as chair if Trump asks. And then maybe he'd do a little dance of joy.

In an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Ryan said, "He's the nominee. I'll do whatever he wants with respect to the convention," somehow suppressing an enormous sigh of relief. Ryan went on to add he's nonetheless looking forward to meeting with Trump later this week so they can play records and ask each other what's up with that hair?

I just want to get to know the guy ... we just don't know each other," said Ryan [...]

"I never said never. I just said (not) at this point. I wish I had more time to get to know him before this happened. We just didn't," he said.

Things are just moving a little too fast. Donald, you've got to slow down.

Ryan also denied Sarah Palin's speculation that he was trying to deny Trump the presidency so Ryan can run for president himself in 2020:

I would not have become speaker of the House if I had 2020 aspirations. If I really wanted to run for president, I could have run in 2012 and 2016. The speaker is not exactly a good steppingstone for president. I think people who know me know that is not my aspiration[.]

Get ready for Palin to insist that if he's denying it, it must be true.

Ryan wouldn't go into detail on his differences with Trump, explaining he wouldn't conduct his bromance with the presumptive nominee through love notes passed in the back of the classroom:

I don't want to have a conversation with Donald Trump through the media. I want to have a straight conversation with Donald Trump on behalf of the party (and) myself, too. Let me say this, the man deserves a ton of credit for an amazing achievement, which is to bring millions of people into this party and to have a very impressive victory. ... At the same time, we want to make sure we don't pretend we're unified and then go into the fall at half strength.

And then, by golly, they're going to be an unbeatable cheer team, and will win the big playoff game against Hillary Clinton Tech in November.

The Trump/Ryan conflict is expected to be adapted into a teen movie in the near future, although it's not yet clear whether it will end in passionate kisses to a John Hughes soundtrack or with the Paul Ryan character walking in slow motion toward the camera while behind him, the gym where the Homecoming dance was held burns to the ground with everyone else locked inside.

[The Hill / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC
'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc