Peggy Noonan Offers Generalized Assessment Of Various Political Things!


In last week's installment of "Wonkette posts about Peggy Noonan's Wall Street Journal column," your editor Ken Layne did 100 kilos of coke and proceeded to comically insult everyone on the face of the Earth for two or seven million words. If Madam Peggington had chanced by Ken's post, probably via that "Google Alert" on her name that her loyal butler Winston set up for her, the vulgarities would quite veritably indeed have inflamed her rheumatism! But Peggy has survived another week, another seven-day of the political news, so let us study the elegant paragraphery in today's dramatic episode of "Declarations."

I. Peggy Noonan Is Troubled By The Perceived Media Bias!

The press knows who the press is for, and it isn't generally the one to the right. This has been true all my life. What has also been true is that the Republican had to get around it with the truth of his stands, the force of his arguments, the un-ignorability of his words, the power of his presence. You have to go over the head of the interpreters and gently seize the country by its lapels. Mr. McCain never got much over their heads. This is not because they're so tall. His campaign was not so much about meaning as it was, in the end, a series of moments—a good interview with Rick Warren, a good convention, Joe the Plumber . . .

Ms. Noonington claims that this has been true "all my life," going back to her childhood days as a penniless street urchin bootlegging homemade gin in Victorian England. But let's focus on her time in America over the last 40 years, when this terrible liberal bias has won a whole three (3) presidential elections out of ten (10) for its beloved Democrats. Pegasus, c'mon. You know perfectly well that the news industry cares about nothing except determining which press narrative will please stockholders the most. It was a financial decision that led every single major media source in this country to accept John McCain's bit that The Surge Has Worked without a single question, because of the troops. Every news source in this country is on the brink of bankruptcy. There was never any doubt that this election would be about superficial shit, and John McCain daily goes out of his way to step in some superficial shit.

II. Peggy Noonan Is Dismayed That 43% Of The Country Will Not Get Its President Elected!

Not a single poll has Mr. McCain ahead. The RealClearPolitics average of national polls as I write, rounded off, is Obama 50%, McCain 43%. Actually Mr. Obama has 50.1%, and if that is true and holds, it would make him the first Democratic presidential nominee since Jimmy Carter to break 50%. But I find myself thinking of what that 43% means. It's a big number, considering that this is the worst Republican year in generations. Amid two wars, a deep economic crisis, a fractured base, too much cynicism, and a campaign with the wind not at its back but head on in its face—with all of that working against Mr. McCain, 43% of the American people say, right now, in these polls, they are for him.

Indeed, this is a strange thing about the 2008 election of politicks: It is the first time someone has led by a small but significant majority, ever. Which leads us to...

III. Peggy Noonan Would Be Disheartened If Obama Used His Victory As A Mandate To Govern In A Liberal Manner!

This is the thing: If Mr. Obama wins, and governs as a moderate liberal, not veering left, not seeming to be the cap that pops off a kettle that's been boiling for eight years, but governs to a degree, at least in general approach, as Bill Clinton did—as a moderate Democrat well aware of the terrain—he may know some success. And he may be able to tamp down the insistence of the long-simmering left by the force of his own popularity, which will grow once he is president among grateful Democrats, and others. But if he goes left—if it comes to seem as if the attractive, dark-haired man has torn open his shirt to reveal a huge S, not for Superman but for Socialist, if he jumps toward reforms such as a speech-limiting new Fairness Doctrine, that won't yield success. It will yield trouble, and unneeded domestic arguments. We have enough needed ones.

In other words, "DON'T YOU EVER CONSIDER FUCKING WITH MY ESTATE, OBAMA." [Blushing, embarrassed], followed by [polite throat-clearing] [sip of single malt Scotch] [modest sigh] "As it were, of course."

[Butler Winston escapes and flees country.]

43% Isn't Nothing [WSJ]


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