Perfect And Sane Donald Trump Just Saying Mexico About To Attack New Hampshire
That dumb fucking hat.
We feel like we've had a whole lot of "Oh boy, Donald Trump sure has lost it now!" moments in the past year, but this one might take the Crazy Cake, at least until Donald Trump presents us with even more Crazy Cake. (He will outdo himself, because he always does.) At a New Hampshire rally, Trump was just suggesting/making a joke/being totally serious in saying that an airplane flying overhead -- in New Hampshire -- might be a Mexican plane getting ready to attack:
Video: Trump sees a plane overhead, says "That could be a Mexican plane up there—they’re getting ready to attack." https://t.co/ryWXqnrMgx
— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) June 30, 2016
Mexico, and I respect Mexico, I respect their leaders, what they've done to us is incredible, their leaders are so much smarter, so much sharper -- [Trump sees airp'ane] -- in fact, that could be a Mexican plane up there, they're gettin' ready to attack!
Yeah OK. He loves the Mexicans, and he really loves those Hispanic taco thingies they make at Trump Tower, BUT maybe they are about to bomb us right now, in New Hampshire.
We are not going to look up information on the Mexican air force's capabilities. We are not going to talk about how difficult it would be, IN THE LAND OF HYPOTHETICAL MAKE-BELIEVE, for an "enemy" plane from OUR ALLY Mexico to fly across Texas (pew! pew!) and the rest of the country, all the way up to New Hampshire, without catching the attention of air traffic control. We are not going to talk about how weird it would be for the guy on the left in this picture to suddenly attack the guy on the right, for no reason:
No, we are not going to do any of those things, because you, gentle readers, are not fucking morons. But many of Trump's supporters are, and that is what is frightening.
At the very same event where Trump broke the truly terrifying news about the impending Mexican attack, one of his supporters got up to ask him if please, we could get Real American Veterans working for the TSA and at the border, as opposed to all the people we have now, the ones who wear "heebiejabis." Now, we are guessing, from our studies of wingnut etymology, that that word is a mix of hijab and "heebie-jeebies," which is the feeling the typical Trump supporters get when they see Muslims, right before they crap their pants.
The point is that Trump's entire campaign has been about hatred, xenophobia, and outright stupidity, and he's tapped into that with his followers. He's convinced all these idiots who watch Fox News that THE MESSICANS ARE COMING and they're bringing rape and murder across the border, therefore we have to build a beautiful, bejeweled, impenetrable border wall. Those same idiots look outside and see birds chirping and trees leaking their dirty fucksap on their cars, and everything looks normal, but that's what the Mexicans want them to think, now isn't it?
So ... that's what we're up against in November, hip hip hooray! But Trump couldn't win, could he? Just like the UK couldn't vote to leave the European Union, because that would be insane ...